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Enron Mail |
Like you have time to read this... It is really funny.
PT ---------------------- Forwarded by Patti Thompson/HOU/ECT on 01/10/2001 05:05 PM --------------------------- Sue Foust 01/10/2001 03:43 PM To: Karen Snow/HOU/ECT@ECT, Michelle Bruce/HOU/ECT@ECT, Diane Ellstrom/HOU/ECT@ECT, Linda K Loukanis/HOU/ECT@ECT, Marilyn M Schoppe/HOU/ECT@ECT, Glenda D Mitchell/HOU/ECT@ECT, Joan Winfrey/HOU/ECT@ECT, Julie Flahaven/NA/Enron@Enron, Lisa Walker/HOU/ECT@ECT, Michelle Thomason/NA/Enron@Enron, Patti Thompson/HOU/ECT@ECT cc: Subject: Personal Trainers ---------------------- Forwarded by Sue Foust/HOU/ECT on 01/10/2001 03:32 PM --------------------------- SHERRI SORRELS <ssorrels_vitoltvl@yahoo.com< on 01/10/2001 12:38:20 PM To: Cyndi Alvarado <cyndi.alvarado@enron.com< cc: Dee Yocum <day200@yahoo.com<, Lisa Murray <SLMHTX@AOL.COM<, "Diane O'Brien" <CUDELZ54@HOTMAIL.COM<, SANDIE PIERCE <spierce@ppchouston.com<, Mary Reed <mreed@us.amadeus.net<, Lisa Rudy <starme98@hotmail.com<, Jessica Sanders <spedster14@hotmail.com<, Shelby Sanders <shelbywelby@hotmail.com<, Crystal Schwartz <cschwartz_vitoltvl@yahoo.com<, Jan Skoog <JSKOOG_VITOLTVL@YAHOO.COM<, TERRI SMITH <tsmith3@enron.com<, Lori Sorrels <lsorrels61@yahoo.com<, Sue Foust <sue.foust@enron.com<, Gabor Fuzesi <gabor@flash.net<, Cassie Gordon <GORCASS@LYCOMING.EDU<, Toni Gordon <louise36c@hotmail.com<, Delores Harton <mistyblue_58@yahoo.com<, JULIE HUNT <jhunt_vitoltvl@yahoo.com<, Joni Krizay <teddybear219@hotmail.com<, LORI REYES <TXLORI@HOTMAIL.COM<, GINNY LYMAN <gdunn126@aol.com<, Joyce Lynn <mlynn@enron.com<, Terri Maldonado <tmaldonado@statesman.com<, CRYSTAL CAMPSEY <honeydew784@aol.com<, Lydia Cannon <lydia.cannon@enron.com<, Jolie Carter <onensyncfan@knoxy.net<, Juanita Carter <redcarter@knoxy.net<, Karen Ener <KDE@VITOL.COM< Subject: Fwd: Fw: REALLY CUTE < < This is dedicated to every woman who ever attempted to get < << into a regular workout routine, (or use one of those Ab-Doer < machines < << Dear Diary, < << < << For my fiftieth birthday this year, my husband (the dear) < purchased < a < << week of personal training at the local health club for me. < Although I < << am still in great shape since playing on my high school softball < team, I < << decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. < << I called the club and made my reservations with a personal < trainer < << I'll call Bruce, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics < << instructor and model for clothing and swimwear. My husband seemed < << pleased < << with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a < diary < << to chart my progress. < << Monday: < << Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it < was < << well < << worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Bruce waiting for < me. < << He is something of a Greek God - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a < << dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo! < << Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines. He took my < pulse < << after five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse < was so < << fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra < aerobic < << outfit. < << I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his < << aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring. Bruce was < << encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching < from < << holding it in the whole time he was around. < << This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!! < << < << Tuesday: < << I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the < door. < << Bruce < << made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then < he < << put < << weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I < made < << the full mile. Bruce's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. < << I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me. < << < << Wednesday: < << The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the < toothbrush on < << the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I < have < << a < << hernia in both pectorals. < << Driving was okay as long as I didn't' try to steer or stop. I < parked < << on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Bruce was impatient with < me, < << insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice < is a < << little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds, he < gets < this < << nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on < the < << treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair monster. < << Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an < activity < << rendered obsolete by elevators? Bruce told me it would help me get < in < << shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too. < << < << Thursday: < << Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as < his < << thin, cruel lips were pulled back into a full snarl. I couldn't < help < << being < << a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Bruce < took me < << to work out with dumbbells. < << When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. He < sent < << Lars < << to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine - < which I < << sank. < << < << Friday: < << I hate that bastard Bruce more than any human being has ever < hated < << any < << other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, < anemic < << little cheerleader wanna-be bastard. If there were a part of my < body I < << could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. < << Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any < triceps! < << And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the &@#$*~ < << barbells < << or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you < learned < << in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude < from, < << Bruce, you Nazi bastard). < << The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and < nutrition < << teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama < coach < << or the choir director? < << < << Saturday: < << Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating, < << shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing < him < << made < << me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked < the < << strength even to use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven < straight < << hours of the *$@#& Weather Channel. < << < << Sunday: < << I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can < go < and < << thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year < my < << husband (the BASTARD) will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a < root < << canal or a hysterectomy. < << < << < < < <Suzanne Cox < <Tenor Networks < <6200 S. Syracuse Way, Suite 125 < <Greenwood Village, CO 80111 < <303 874-5153 < <303 874-5154 (fax) < < < __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! 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