FW: Rules for blokes....

< -----Original Message-----
< From: Joseph Mills
< Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2001 10:00 AM
< To: Peter McNally; Mike Kavanagh; Mike Califano; Chris McQuade; Vince
< Crescenzi
< Subject: FW: Rules for blokes....
<
<
< -----Original Message-----
< From: Neil.Rigby@pearsontv.com [mailto:Neil.Rigby@pearsontv.com]
< Sent: Wednesday, August 22, 2001 9:37 AM
< To: Rymer, Phil; Joseph Mills; whoward@earthlink.net;
< Bob.Merrilees@pearsontv.com; Mark.Newton@pearsontv.com;
< AndyWilson@jvbbcec.com.tw; jasperd@hkstar.com; John Llewellyn
< Subject: Rules for blokes....
<
<
<
< --
<
<
<
< BLOKE ETIQUETTE
<
< Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed or
< beaten
< by his fellow partygoers.
<
< Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
<
< It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
< a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master
< b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
< c. After wrecking your boss' car.
< d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
< e. When your Date is using her teeth
<
< Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of
< jail within 12 hours.
<
< If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
< forever, unless you actually marry her.
<
< The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late
< is
< 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes.
<
< For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she
< scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
<
< Bitching about the brand of free beer in a Mate's fridge is forbidden.
< Gripe
< at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
<
< No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man
< (in
< fact, even remembering your Mate's birthday is strictly optional).
<
< When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always
< ask
< the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
<
< It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning
< on
< a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's
< free.
<
< Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
<
< Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
<
< If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem --- you didn't see nothin'.
<
< Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until
< they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much
< beer
< as the
< other sports watchers.
<
< You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a
< girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw
< it into a ceiling fan.
<
< A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
< sober
< enough to fight.
<
< Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but
< not both. That's just plain mean.
<
< If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his
< choice of beer.
<
< Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both
< urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost
< imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
<
< Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able
< to
< have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; Hang up if necessary.
<
< The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have had
< carnal drunken rampant sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty
< is
< no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big
< mistake it was.
<
<
<
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