FW:

CELEBRITY QUOTES (and there's no truth to the rumor that these quotes
< came from Marc Stewart):
< "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
< relationships."
< Sharon Stone
<
< Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're
< in."
< Courtney Cox Monica on "Friends"
<
< "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in
< poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are
< apparently doing quite well for themselves."
< Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
<
< "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
< but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
< Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
<
< "ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
< genitals through his wallet."
< Robin Williams
<
< "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
< Billy Crystal
<
< "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
< like and just give her a house."
< Rod Stewart
<
< "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other
< hand, we can open all our own jars."
< Bruce Willis (On the difference between men and women)
<
< "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything
< on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on
< Satan."
< George Burns
<
< "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's
< reading."
< Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
<
< "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
< Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
< Tiger Woods
<
< "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment
< turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
< Rev. Jesse Jackson
<
< "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
< Jack Nicholson
<
< "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the
< only time of the month that I can be myself."
< Roseanne
<
< "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
< undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
< women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men
< are just grateful."
< Robert De Niro
<
< "In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra.
< Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough
< attention to women's breasts?"
< Hugh Grant
<
< "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
< having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
< swelling. So what's the problem?"
< Dustin Hoffman
<
< "When the sun comes up, I have morals again."
< Elizabeth Taylor
<
< "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I
< know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.'"
< Jerry Seinfield
<
< AND THE NUMBER ONE QUOTE IS
< "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
< enough blood to run one at a time."
< Robin Williams
<
<