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Enron Mail |
< < < < Dear Mr. President, < < < < I recently saw a bumper sticker that said, < < < < "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore." So, I sat down and reflected < on < < < < that and < < < < I am sending my "Thank you" for what you have done, specifically: < < < < < < < < 1. Thank you for introducing us to Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, < Monica < < < < Lewinsky, < < < < Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and, of course, Juanita < < Broaddrick, < < < < who told < < < < NBC that you raped her. Are there any others that we should know < about? < < < < < < < < 2. Thank you for teaching my 8-year-old about oral sex. I had really < < < < planned to wait < < < < until he was about 10 or so to discuss it with him, but now he knows < < more < < < < about it than < < < < I did as a senior in college. The cigar thing was also neat for the < < kids. < < < < < < < < 3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place < < < < (especially the < < < < White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what < the < < < < meaning of "IS" < < < < is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts are not sex < and < < < one < < < < person may have sex < < < < while the other one involved does NOT have sex. Monica said < frequently < < < < while you were on the < < < < phone, she would work at one end, and you at the other. < < < < What productivity! < < < < < < < < 4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new < < < < generation and < < < < demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag The Dog" < could < < be < < < < plausible after < < < < all. The people of the Sudan, Afghanistan and Serbia are all running < to < < < < rent the < < < < video, now that you made them part of the story. < < < < < < < < 5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look < < < < graceful, Richard < < < < Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy < look < < < < moral. < < < < < < < < 6. Thank you for the 72 House and Senate witnesses who have pleaded < < the < < < < 5th Amendment < < < < and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about < < < < Democrat campaign fund raising. < < < < < < < < 7. Thank you for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments < < from < < < < the Whitewater < < < < "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions (so < far) < < in < < < < the other "Clinton" < < < < scandals. < < < < < < < < 8. Thanks for remembering the families of many deceased people who < < once < < < < were your friends, < < < < who served you and died so young and suddenly: Vince Foster, Jerry < < Parks, < < < < Ron Brown, Admiral < < < < Boorda, Les Aspin, Barbara Alice Wiese, Mary Mahoney, Jim McDougal < et < < al. < < < < < < < < 9. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of < < our < < < < foreign policy, and < < < < for providing no real missile defense system for the American < people. < < < Thank < < < < you for sharing < < < < with our Chinese friends all of our nuclear weapon designs, the < < < < supercomputer technology to < < < < build such weapons, the ballistic missile technology so they can < have < < more < < < < accurate missiles, < < < < and the encryption technology so they can keep it all secret too. < < < < < < < < 10. You are amazing visiting all those countries! Thank you for < flying < < < all < < < < over the world on < < < < "vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips. It's wonderful, < too, < < < < how you have surpassed < < < < every other president in the size of your entourage on these trips: < 75 < < < < jumbo jets, 2000 guests to < < < < China alone. Your Africa entourage also was remarkable and it was < nice < < of < < < < you to bring Betty < < < < Currie. She needed a break from testifying before the grand jury. < < < < < < < < Please give my regards to Hillary, when/if you see her. Tell her I'm < < < < working on a "Thank < < < < You" letter for her. < < < < < < < < Looking forward to January 2001, < < < < Average Joe <
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