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Enron Mail |
This is great!!!!
Can you believe all that is going on in Sunny Florida? I called Nat/Laura to get their take on the mayhem, but I haven't been able to talk with them. I got a voice mail from Laura that Jesse Jackson was leading a demonstration up the street from their house! They are right in the thick of it. Later. MHC Cheryl.Brinkman@mckhboc.com on 11/15/2000 06:02:01 PM To: earentz@online.no, jodie.baldwin@excite.com, gerald@iii.co.uk, michelle.cash@enron.com, coffin@jacobssf.com, cbrinkman@msn.com cc: Subject: Notice from England yes, forwarding a joke - I'm sorry, but it's pretty good. Cheryl < To the citizens of the United States of America... < < In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to < govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your < independence, effective today. < < Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties < over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which < she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP < for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a < world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without < the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be < disbanded. < < A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of < you noticed. < < To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following < rules are introduced with immediate effect: < 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. < Then look up "aluminium" . Check the pronunciation guide. You will be < amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you < should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up < "vocabulary". Using the same < twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and < "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. < Look up "interspersed" . < < 2. There is no such thing as "US English" . We will let Microsoft know < on your behalf. < < 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. < It really isn't that hard. < < 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the < good guys. < < 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen, < but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get < confused and give up half way through. < < 6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of < football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good < game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your < borders may have noticed that no one else plays American" football. You < will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper < football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It < is a difficult game. < < Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which < is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a < rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like < nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side < by 2005. < < 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if < they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there < is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The < Russians have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for "shit". < < 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new < national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day. < < 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your < own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we < mean. < < 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. < < Thank you for your cooperation. <
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