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Return-Path: <clott@matrixservice.com< Received: from rly-ye04.mx.aol.com (rly-ye04.mail.aol.com [172.18.151.201]) by air-ye01.mail.aol.com (v77.14) with ESMTP; Fri, 08 Dec 2000 09:44:54 -0500 Received: from exchange.matrixservice.com ([208.35.134.126]) by rly-ye04.mx.aol.com (v77.27) with ESMTP; Fri, 08 Dec 2000 09:44:27 -0500 Reply-To: <clott@matrixservice.com< From: "Charita Lott" <clott@matrixservice.com< To: <wmontg6626@aol.com< Subject: FW: Funny! Date: Fri, 8 Dec 2000 08:44:24 -0600 Message-ID: <000101c06125$5bce39e0$4c7010ac@awilliams.matrixservice.com< MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" X-Mailer: Unknown -----Original Message----- From: Natalie Thompson [mailto:nthompson@matrixservice.com] Sent: Friday, December 08, 2000 8:02 AM To: Todd White; Tiffiany Rose; Tania VanRiper; Sambo Stirrer Molina; Robby Chapman; Paula Berwick; Paul Coleman; Nik A Lodeon; Melinda MIM Hochstetler; Laura THE GREAT David; Keith Tyler; Harold McCaskey; Dave The Man Bretherton; Charita Lott; Bill Smith Subject: FW: Funny! < < CHAIN SEX < < < < TO MY DEAR GIRLFRIEND (WIFE): < < During the past year I have tried to make love to < < you 365 times. < < < < I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of < < once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not < < succeed more often: < < < < < < < < << < << < * 54 times the sheets were clean, < < < < < < << < << < * 17 times it was too late, < < < < < < << < << < * 49 times you were too tired, < < < < < < << < << < * 20 times it was too hot, < < < < < < << < << < * 15 times you pretended to be asleep, < < < < < < << < << < * 22 times you had a headache, < < < < < < << < << < * 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby, < < < < < < << < << < * 16 times you said you were too sore, < < < < < < << < << < * 12 times it was the wrong time of the month, < < < < < < << < << < * 19 times you had to get up early, < < < < < < << < << < * 9 times you said weren't in the mood, < < < < < < << < << < * 7 times you were sunburned, < < < < < < << < << < * 6 times you were watching the late show, < < < < < < << < << < * 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new < < hairdo, < < < < < < << < << < * 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us, < < < < < < << < << < * 9 times you said your mother would hear us. < < < < < < << < << < < < < < < < << < << < Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity < < was not < < < < < < << satisfactory because: < < < < < < < < << < << < * 6 times you just laid there, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in <the < < < < < ceiling, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it <over < < with, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I < < finished, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I < < felt you move < < < < < < << < << < < < < < < < << < << < TO MY DEAR BOYFRIEND (HUSBAND): < < < < < < << < << < < < < < < < << < << < I think you have things a little confused. Here < < are the < < < < < < < reasons you didn't get more than you did < < < < < < < < << < << < * 5 times you came home drunk and tried to <screw < < < the cat < < < < < < < < << < << < * 36 times you did not come home at all, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 21 times you didn't cum, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 33 times you came too soon, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 19 times you went soft before you got in, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 38 times you worked too late, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 10 times you got cramps in your toes, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 29 times you had to get up early to play <golf, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 2 times you were in a fight and someone <kicked < < you, < < < < < in the balls, < < < < < < < << < << < * 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 3 times you had a cold and your nose was < < running, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 2 times you had a splinter in your finger, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 20 times you lost the notion after thinking < < about < < it all day, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 6 times you came in your pajamas while <reading < < a < < < < < dirty book, < < < < < < < < << < << < * 98 times you were too busy watching football < < < < < baseball, etc. on TV < < < < < < << < << < < < < < < < << < << < Of the times we did get together: < < < < < < < < << < << < * The reason I laid still was because you <missed < < < and were screwing the sheets. < < < < < < < < << < << < * I wasn't talking about the crack in the < < ceiling, < < < < what I said was, "Would you < < prefer me on my back or < < < kneeling?" < < < < < < < < << < << < * The time you felt me move was because you < < farted < < < < and I was trying to breathe. < < < < < < << < << < < < < < < < << < << < Once you read this letter you have to keep it <going. < < < < < This game has been played since 1996. You < < must send this letter to < < < 7 people. < < < < < < << < On the 5th day someone will ask you out or say "I < < love you." < < < < < < < This is not a joke. < < < < < < << < << < It has worked for many years. If you break the <chain, < < < < < you will have bad luck with guys/girls < < forever. This is just < < < < for future readers. < < < < < < << < << < < < < < < < << < << < This began in 1996, not much of a past, but it < < < works. < < < < < < << < << < < < < < < < << < << < So here are the rules: < < < < < < << < << < *If you read this on a Sunday, wish for a really < < fun < < < < < week < < < < < < << < << < *If you read this on a Monday, wish for love < < < < < < << < << < *If you read this on a Tuesday, wish for money < < < < < < << < << < *If you read this on a Wednesday, wish for <success < < < < < < << < << < *If you read this on a Thursday, wish for <anything < < < you want < < *If you read this on a Friday, wish for < < a really hot date < < < < < < << < << < *If you read this on a Saturday, wish for an < < important < < < < < < phone call < < Send this to seven people (after you make a wish). < < < <Make sure it is sent as soon as you read it or your wish won't come < < true.
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