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---------------------- Forwarded by Tracy Geaccone/GPGFIN/Enron on 02/05/2001 02:24 PM --------------------------- "Jack Hurst" <hurst@intur.net< on 01/12/2001 02:49:02 AM To: "Wayne Guidry" <Guidry_Wayne@emc.com<, <Tracy.Geaccone@enron.com<, "Lou and Kathleen Dionne" <lkdionne@olypen.com<, "Janet Tanner" <jtanner_1953@yahoo.com<, "Dianne Costa" <gdsown@airmail.net< cc: Subject: Fw: Life's Most Embarrassing Moments ----- Original Message ----- From: "Hurst, Julie A" <Hurst.Julie@emeryworld.com< Sent: Friday, January 12, 2001 2:11 PM Subject: FW: Life's Most Embarrassing Moments < These are great! < < < Curl Up and Die < I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow < and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a < blow job?" < < Melinda Lowe, < 39, Seguin, TX < < < Pad, please! < An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage < insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, < and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old < son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex < right in front of our guest. < Kathy Newman, < 46,Winston-Salem, NC < < < Ho, Ho, Ho < I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the < bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a < mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few < shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included < one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative < called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting < I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was < shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured < my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera! < Name Withheld < < < Lady Golfer < I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. < I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After < browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the < good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he < could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I < think I like playing with men's balls." < < Colleen Collins, < 31, Ferndale, MI < < Nuts about You < My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold < a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the < boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, < "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh < hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked < away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. < < Faye Emerick, < 34, Ellerslie, MD < < < The following are the top four winners of a Most Embarrassing < Moments Contest in the "New Woman Magazine": < < Na-na na-na na-nah! < While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to < release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to < grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance < from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start < behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she < looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, < "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I < saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was < deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers < stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my < dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The < last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams < of laughter. < < Amy Richardson; < Stafford, Virginia < < < Surprise! < It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at < home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited < my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed < after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I < suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggyback ride < to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't < have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the < stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people < yelled, "SURPRISE!" My entire family: aunts, uncles, < grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My < girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and < embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no < one in my family has planned a surprise party again. < < Tim Cahill, < Poughkeepsie, New York < < < Priceless < One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come < upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items < at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, < she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her < embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed < out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, < TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the < rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for < "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over < the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB < OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" < < < Mom's Advice < A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was < squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying < attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was < quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been < circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go < down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and < ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to < his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the < room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at < his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to < call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me < that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me < up from school." < < Chris Vaught < < < < < < < < < < < <
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