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---------------------- Forwarded by Tracy Geaccone/GPGFIN/Enron on 02/05/2001 02:20 PM --------------------------- "Jack Hurst" <hurst@intur.net< on 02/05/2001 01:29:01 PM To: "Wayne Guidry" <Guidry_Wayne@emc.com<, <Tracy.Geaccone@enron.com<, "Lou and Kathleen Dionne" <lkdionne@olypen.com<, "Hurst, Julie A" <Hurst.Julie@emeryworld.com<, "Dianne Costa" <gdsown@airmail.net< cc: Subject: Fw: The Hamster Story Hi Janet. This is hilarious! Jack ----- Original Message ----- From: "karellmd" <karellmd@email.msn.com< To: "Janet Tanner" <jtanner_1953@yahoo.com<; "Karen Key" <karenkey@swbell.net<; "peggy berry" <peggyberry@hotmail.com< Sent: Sunday, February 04, 2001 11:09 PM Subject: Fw: The Hamster Story < < ----- Original Message ----- < From: "Don & Awyn Combs" <combs@ecentral.com< < To: "Jim & Glenna Loomis" <loomis@cysource.com< < Cc: "Ray & Phyllis Barber" <rb75@telepath.com<; "Lowell & Karen Snyder" < <karellmd@email.msn.com<; "Marvin Thomas" <MARVARCH@aol.com<; "Katie Wirth" < <wirthIRKM@aol.com< < Sent: Sunday, February 04, 2001 9:29 PM < Subject: Fw: The Hamster Story < < < < < < < < ---------- < < From: Don Belden <dbelden@chisp.net< < < To: Ginnie Sperry <ginsperry@aol.com< < < Cc: John & Jean Sperry <pooka@dstream.net<; Frannie Davies < < <FODaviess@aol.com<; Awyn&Don Combs <combs@ecentral.com<; Sondra Bolinger < < <saph-dan@juno.com<; George Sperry <gpsperry@aol.com<; Anne Sperry < < <aasperry@aol.com<; Robbie and Ben Sweiger <waboom123@aol.com<; Marge < < Belden <mbelden@chisp.net< < < Subject: FW: The Hamster Story < < Date: Sunday, February 04, 2001 5:30 PM < < < < Sister Barb sent this to me. T00 good not to share. < < < < Don < < -----Original Message----- < < From: CRAZO@aol.com [mailto:CRAZO@aol.com] < < Sent: Monday, January 22, 2001 6:15 PM < < To: RBeer@mediaone.net; patricib@flint.umich.edu; < < questrist@earthlink.net; delliestm@c-b.com; < < rderra@mediaone.net; CLGutowski@aol.com; < < k.hammon@NotesMail1.csuohio.edu; StephenHilker@cs.com; < < thissong@mail.adrian.k12.mi.us; RKOURTJIAN@prodigy.net; < < Mary2Earth@aol.com; AnthonyManna@aol.com; wmr@MNSi.Net; < < Joyin2it@aol.com; RReid@umich.edu; GSMITUB@aol.com; < < dvictory@raex.com < < Subject: Fwd: The Hamster Story < < < < < < " The Hamster Story" < < < < < < If you have raised kids, and gone through the pet < < < syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead < < < goldfish, the story below will have you < < < laughing out LOUD!!! This is a true story.... < < < < < < I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. < < < Here's what happened: < < < < < Just after dinner one night, my son came up < < < to tell me there was "something wrong" with < < < one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner < < < in his room. < < < "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. < < < < < < "Oldest trick in the book, son," I informed him. < < < "You go in to see what's wrong with < < < the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind < < < you and bonks you on the head. < < < Then they change into your clothes and < < < escape." < < < < < < "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?" < < < < < < I put my best hamster-healer expression < < < on my face and followed him into his < < < bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed < < < lying on his back, looking distressed. < < < I immediately knew what to do. Call the < < < professional. < < < < < < "Honey," I called, "come look at the < < < hamster!" < < < < < < "Oh, my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. < < < "She's having babies." < < < < < < "What?" my son demanded. < < < < < < "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" < < < < < < I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? < < < I thought we said we didn't want < < < them to reproduce," I accused my wife. < < < < < < "Well, what did you want me to do, post a < < < sign in their cage?" she inquired. < < < (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) < < < < < < "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" < < < I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet < < < voice). < < < < < < "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. < < < < < < "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some < < < guys," she informed me. < < < (Again with the sarcasm, you think?) < < < < < < By now the rest of the family had gathered to < < < see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding < < < to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to < < < be a wondrous experience," I announced. < < < "We're about to witness the miracle of birth." < < < < < < "OH, Gross!", they shrieked. < < < < < < "Well, isn't THAT just Great!" what are we going < < < to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" < < < my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was < < < being snotty here, too. Don't you?) < < < < < < "Well, when my parents' dogs had puppies, I took < < < them up to the grocery store in a cardboard box < < < and gave them away," I recalled. < < < < < < "So what are you going to do, go up with a pair < < < of tweezers so people can pick out their hamster?" < < < she asked. (Gotta love her!) < < < < < < We peered at the patient. After much struggling, < < < what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, < < < vanishing a scant second later. < < < < < < "We don't appear to be making much progress," I < < < noted. < < < < < < "A breech birth," my wife whispered, horrified. < < < < < < "Do something, Dad!" my son urged. < < < < < < "Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and < < < grabbed the foot when it next appeared, < < < giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. < < < I tried again, with the same results. < < < < < < "Should I dial 911?" my eldest daughter < < < wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through < < < the trauma." (You see a pattern here with my < < < females?) < < < < < < "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. < < < We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage < < < in his lap. < < < < < < "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. < < < "I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother < < < noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own < < < young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, < < < but this boy is "of her womb", for God's sake.) < < < < < < The vet took Ernie back to the examining room < < < and peered at the little animal through a < < < magnifying glass. < < < < < < "What do you think, Doc, an epidermal?" < < < I suggested scientifically. < < < < < < "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. < < < "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you < < < privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding < < < for my son to step outside. < < < < < < "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. < < < < < < "Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This < < < hamster is not in labor. In fact, < < < that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a < < < boy." < < < < < < "What!?" < < < < < < "You see, Ernie is a young male. < < < And occasionally, as they come into < < < maturity, male hamsters will, < < < master, er, er, ah..." He blushed, < < < glancing at my wife. < < < < < < "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron." < < < < < < We were silent, absorbing this. < < < "So Ernie's just ... just < < < ...Excited?", my wife offered. < < < < < < "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved < < < that we understood. More silence. < < < Then my lovely wife started to giggle. < < < And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. < < < < < < What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but < < < not believing that the woman I married would < < < commit the upcoming affront to my < < < flawless Manliness. < < < < < < Tears were now running down her face. "Just ... < < < that ...I'm picturing you < < < pulling on its ... its ... teeny little ... " < < < she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter < < < once more. < < < < < "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the < < < Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters < < < and our son back into the car. He was glad < < < everything was goingto be okay. < < < < < < "I know Ernie's really thankful for what < < < you've done, Dad," he told me. < < < < < < "Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, < < < collapsing into laughter as I gave < < < her a dirty look. < < < < <
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