FW: Fw: Just the facts

< Subject: FW: Fw: Just the facts
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< For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
< For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
< For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
< The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX (poor woman)
< Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):
< 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq foot
< house 4 inches deep.
< 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
< roller blades, they can ignite,
< 3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
< restaurant.
< 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
< enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman
< cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a
< 20X20 foot room.
< 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
< When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
< times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
< 6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
< by a ceiling fan.
< 7. When you hear the toliet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already
< too late.
< 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
< 9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
< 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifing glass
< can start a fire even on an overcast day.
< 10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
< four-year-old.
< 11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
< 12. Super glue is forever.
< 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
< walk on water.
< 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
< 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
< they do.
< 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
< 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
< 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
< 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
< like ovens.
< 20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.
< 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
< dizzy.
< It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their body weight
< when dizzy.
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