Hallmark cards you'll NEVER see!

< Hallmark cards you'll NEVER see!
<
< *"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
< *"How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?"
< *"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
< After having met you, I've changed my mind."
< *"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in
Hell
< until I met you."
< *"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but
< wonder: What the fuck was I thinking?"
< *"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to
ruin
< it for me."
< *"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
< *"As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me.
< Like the need for therapy!!"
< *"Thanks for being a part of my life! I never knew what evil was before
< this!"
< *"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take
this
< knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again."
< *"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
< *"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...almost life-like!
< *"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
< Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
< *"We have been friends for a very long time -- what do you say we call it
< quits?"
< *"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
< *"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
< Did you ever find out who the father was?"
< *"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
was
< only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
< *"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday so
< we're having you put to sleep."
< *"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!" (available only in Arkansas, West
< VA,Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia-Oh Hell, lets just say all states south of
< Maryland) <<
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