HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AT WORK

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/ sunglasses on and point a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Insist that your e mail address is Xena-Warrior-Princess @companyname.com
OR Elvis-the-King@companyname.com

4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask "Do you want fries with

that?"

5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
dancing.

6. Put your garbage can on you desk and label it "IN".

7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers and make sure everyone notices.

8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

9. In the memo section of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".

10. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

11. Finish all you sentences with : "In accordance with the prophecy."

12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

13. Don't use any punctuation

14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk, especially when heading to
the boss's office.

15. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

16. When going through the drive-through at lunch, tell the attendant:
"This
order is to go!"

17. Sing along at the Opera.

18.. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss
is of the opposite gender.)

19. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing.
For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in stall
#3."

20. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds
all day.

21. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

22. In the middle of your busy day, call the psychic hotline and don't say
anything.

24. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard or
Juicy Momma.

25. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I WON, I WON! 3rd time
this
week!"

26. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"Run
for your lives, they're loose!"

27. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's
the
voices in your head that do!"

28. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to
have
to let one of you go."

29. Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother's here!"

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...

30. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it
to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this

_____________________________________________
Sign up for your gosfgiants.com e-mail today!
http://www.gosfgiants.com