FW: Two Cows

-----Original Message-----
From: Binnie Williams [mailto:binnie.williams@verizon.net]
Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 8:23 PM
To: David Rosenberg; Ilana Rosanski; Frank Kittle; Mark B Simon
Subject: Fw: Two Cows

----- Original Message -----
From: <BJKBROWN@aol.com<
Sent: Wednesday, November 07, 2001 6:52 PM
Subject: Two Cows

< THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...
<
< A CHRISTIAN:
<
< You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
<
<
< A SOCIALIST:
<
< You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.
<
<
< A REPUBLICAN:
<
< You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
<
<
< A DEMOCRAT:
<
< You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being
< successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to
< sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take
< the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel
righteous.
<
<
< A COMMUNIST:
<
< You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with
milk.
<
<
< A FASCIST:
<
< You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk.
You
< join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
<
<
< DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
<
< You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to
sell
< both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was
a
< gift from your government.
<
<
< CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
<
< You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
<
<
< BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
<
< You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the
< other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
<
<
< AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
<
< You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of
< four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
<
<
< A FRENCH CORPORATION:
<
< You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
<
<
< A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
<
< You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an
< ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
<
<
< A GERMAN CORPORATION:
<
< You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
< once a month, and milk themselves.
<
<
< AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
<
< You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for
lunch.
<
<
< A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
<
< You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
count
< them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
< have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
<
<
< A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
<
< You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like.
< You take a nap.
<
<
< A SWISS CORPORATION:
<
< You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing
< them for others.
<
<
< A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
<
< You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American
< corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares
< bankruptcy.
<
<
< AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
<
< You have two cows. You worship them.
<
<
< A TALIBAN
<
< You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and
< they both die. You blame the godless American infidels. <<
<
<