FW: God's voicemail

---------------------- Forwarded by Angela Barnett/HOU/ECT on 11/29/2000
02:49 PM ---------------------------

Monique Phillips@ENRON_DEVELOPMENT
11/29/2000 02:08 PM
To: Personal, Private, Joyce Barrett@ENRON,
andronette.a.morgan1@jsc.nasa.gov, Angie Collins@ECT, Darlene
Taylor/ENRON_DEVELOPMENT@ENRON_DEVELOPMENT, Saidia Matthews@ENRON, Aaron
Mackey/ENRON_DEVELOPMENT@ENRON_DEVELOPMENT, Archie N
Eubanks/ENRON_DEVELOPMENT@ENRON_DEVELOPMENT, Karen Herrmann@ENRON, Angela
Barnett@ECT
cc:
Subject: FW: God's voicemail

This would not be a good idea!

< <
< < Subject: God's voicemail
< <
< < God's Voice Mail
< < Most of us have learned to live with "voice mail" as now a
< < < < necessary part of our daily lives. But have you ever wondered
< < < < what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail?
< < < <
< < < < Imagine praying and hearing the following:
< < < <
< < < < Thank you for calling Heaven. Please select one of the
< < < < following options:
< < < < Press 1 for Requests.
< < < < Press 2 for Thanksgiving.
< < < < Press 3 for Complaints.
< < < < Press 4 for all other inquiries.
< < < <
< < < < I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping
< < < < other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important
< < < < to us and we will answer it in the order it was received.
< < < < Please stay on the line.
< < < <
< < < < If you would like to speak to:
< < < < God, THE FATHER press 1.
< < < < For Jesus, press 2.
< < < < For the Holy Spirit, press 3.
< < < < If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while
< < < < you are holding, press 4.
< < < <
< < < < To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, press
< < < < 5, then enter his or her Social Security Number, followed by
< < < < the pound sign (If you get a negative response, please hang
< < < < up and try area code 666).
< < < <
< < < < For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N followed by
< < < < the numbers 3-1-6.
< < < <
< < < < For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of
< < < < the earth, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is,
< < < < please wait until you arrive.
< < < <
< < < < Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.
< < < < Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
< < < <
< < < < This office is now closed for the weekend to observe a
< < < < religious holiday. Please pray again on Monday after
< < < < 9:30 a.m. If you are calling after hours and need
< < < < emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
< <
< <
< <
< <