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Enron Mail |
---------------------- Forwarded by Juan Hernandez/Corp/Enron on 11/27/2000
06:25 AM --------------------------- "jrh.texas" <jrh.texas@mciworld.com< on 09/02/2000 04:52:27 PM To: juan.hernandez@enron.com cc: Subject: Fw: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... -----Original Message----- From: Danny Haskin <DannyH@calpine.com< To: 'Juan Hernandez' <purogallo@email.msn.com< Date: Tuesday, May 04, 1999 8:12 AM Subject: RE: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... <a lot of this stuff can be titled:You know you're black if,,,, < << -----Original Message----- << From: Juan Hernandez [SMTP:purogallo@email.msn.com] << Sent: Monday, May 03, 1999 8:09 PM << To: jhernan@columbiaenergy.com; dannyh@calpine.com << Subject: Fw: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... << << << -----Original Message----- << From: KPolt@aol.com <KPolt@aol.com< << To: Laura Hernandez <Laura.Hernandez@trw.com<; LKefgen@aol.com << <LKefgen@aol.com<; Cat26grp@aol.com <Cat26grp@aol.com<; D1730@aol.com << <D1730@aol.com<; PAPA1039@aol.com <PAPA1039@aol.com<; BASNBoyz@aol.com << <BASNBoyz@aol.com< << Date: Friday, April 30, 1999 6:29 PM << Subject: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... << << << << YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF... << << You have ever been spanked with chanclas. << You have later been spanked with the plancha chord. << You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear her chanclas << on << the linoleum floor. << Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you << only << live in a one bedroom apartment. << You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the chuletas. << You light a candle the night of the Lotto drawing. << You get scared whenever someone mentions "el cucuuuuiii". << You go to the Pulga or Swapmeet every weekend for gear. << You go to a function and judge the women's fashions (wearing a sequence << butterfly print top you got from the pulga.) << You have gone to Titi's house and passed through the beaded curtain in the << living room. << You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every << inch of space on/under the TV and you have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha or << elephant in your livingroom. << You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas. << You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by << drinking it. << You have a perpetually drunk uncle. << You're still afraid to open that umbrella in your house. << You know at least one person in your family named Maria, Carlos,Papo, << Juan, << Jose, Tony, Tito or Luis. << You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell << people he's your tio. << Your mother, tia, or hermana's hair is blackcherry, "Sun in" red or a << burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous. << You call: rug -carpeta; roof - rufo; parking - parking, libreria instead << of << biblioteca- or to knock - knockiar and chips-ruffles. << You have ever had to -beepiar- a friend on their pager. << You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a << cold. << Your tia Chencha thinks that silver banana clips are on Vogue's hot list << for << hair. << You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, << but << be the first to take a plato to go. << You drink all beer with limon and salt. << Your sister has more mustache hair than your father. << One of your aunts or mom weighs over 300 pounds. << Your cousins are delinquents/hootchies. << You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca: who's bigger than a << house. << You think Cristina trumps Oprah any day. << Your uncle owns more gold than that jewelry shop down the street. << You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night. << You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious. << Your mom made you put lettuce under your bed the night before Three King's << Day so that the camels had something to eat and they leave you a gift in << return. << Your family never lets you forget the day you missed Mother's Day. << You need to point out how much something you just bought cost. << You can dance merengue, cumbias and salsa without music. << You go to at least 3 weddings a year. << You use manteca instead of olive oil and can't figure out why your ass is << getting bigger. << You go to a white friends house for dinner and dont understand the concept << of << sitting at a table. << You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it. << You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now. << You have a picture of -Jesucristo- in your house. << You have at least TWO statues of saints in your house (and a bonus point << if << one of them La Virgen de Guadalupe). << You go to Church on Easter, Christmas and New Years just to see what << everyone << is wearing and find out all the latest chisme. << You're an adult and you're still forced to be with your family at << 12midnight << on New Years Eve. << You walk around saying -chacho-,-chacha-,-ay bendito- or -Buey-. << You get anothers attention by saying "chhh chhh" or "Pssssst." << You drive a Cheby- (Chevy),an -Ohsmobeel- (Oldsmobile) or a Bolswahgon << (VolksWagon) << You call your sneakers -tenis- . << Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend. << You have at least thirty cousins. << You start clapping when your plane lands on the runway. << And last, but not least... << Your grandmother thinks she has the miracle cure for everything. << << VIVA LatinoAmerica! << << <<
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