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Enron Mail |
< < <Subject: one liners < < < < <Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them. < <The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in high school was my blood alcohol <content. < <Home is where you can say anything you like cause nobody listens to you <anyway. < <I live in my own little world, but it's OK...they know me here. < <"I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it." <I said, "Thyroid problem?'" < <"I got a sweater for Christmas... <I wanted a screamer or a moaner." < <I see your IQ test results were negative. < <Regular naps prevent old age..... <especially if you take them while driving. < <Sex is hereditary. <If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. < <If God had intended for man to use the metric system, <Jesus would have only had ten disciples! < <I don't approve of political jokes... <I've seen too many of them get elected. < <I have learned there is little difference in wives, <so you might as well keep the first. < <There are two sides to every divorce: <Yours and shithead's. < <If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; <if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. < <Travel is very educational. <I can now say "Kaopectate" in seven different languages. < <I love being married. <It's so great to find that one special person <you want to annoy for the rest of your life. < <Save Your Breath... <You'll need it to blow up your date! < <I married my wife for her looks... <but not the ones she's been giving me lately! < <"Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've <stayed alive." < <Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted <condom? < <"No one ever says 'It's only a game,' when their team is winning." < <I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: CHECKOUT TIME IS 18. < <Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, <you have to pay someone to look at you naked. < <"If carrots are so good for the eyes, <how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?" < <"How come we choose from just two people for president <and 50 for Miss America?" < <On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. <There I was, surrounded by trees and bushes. < <Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. < <Marriage changes passion... <suddenly you're in bed with a relative. < <Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? < <I mixed Rogaine with Viagra... <now I've got hair like Don King. < <I just got back from a pleasure trip: <I drove my mother-in-law to the airport! < <My wife and I were happy for twenty years... <then we met. < < < < < < < < < < < < < < _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com _____ Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : <http://explorer.msn.com<;
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