Fw: How (not) to speak English Properly

< Subject: How (not) to speak English Properly
<
<
< < 1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
< < 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
< < 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
< < 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
< < 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
< < 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
< < 7. Be more or less specific.
< < 8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
< < unnecessary.
< < 9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
< < 10. No sentence fragments.
< < 11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
< < 12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
< < 13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary;
< < it's highly superfluous.
< < 14. One should NEVER generalize.
< < 15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches
< < 16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.,
< < 17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
< < 18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
< < 19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
< < 20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical
< < words however should be enclosed in commas.
< < 21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
< < 22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
< < 23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put
< < forth earth-shaking ideas.
< < 24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I
< < hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
< < 25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times:
< < Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it
< < correctly.
< < 26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
< < 27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
< < 28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
< < 29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
< < 30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
< <
< < And the last one...
< <
< < 31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
< <
< <
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