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--------- Inline attachment follows --------- From: <wtruxillo@hotmail.com< To: arthur.goldsmith@att.net, bsnyder1@txu.com, chendrix@ev1.net, gtrimble01@yahoo.com, heath.kendall@worldnet.att.net, jack@safetyalert.com, jgalura@intergen.com, lhinrich@swbell.net, Lmfoust@aol.com, newhatley@earthlink.net, schan5@houston.rr.com Date: Monday, February 25, 2002 2:34:37 GMT Subject: < <MARTHA STEWART'S TIPS FOR FOLKS LIVING IN ARKANSAS < <GENERAL <Never take beer to a job interview. <Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. <It's considered tacky to take a cooler into a church. <If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. <Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still <considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. < <DINING OUT <When decanting wine, make sure you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so <as <not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine. <If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers <covering the label. < <ENTERTAINING AT HOME <A proper centerpiece for the table should not be anything prepared by a <taxidermist. <Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his manners <are. < <PERSONAL HYGIENE <While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done <in <private using one's OWN truck keys. <Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. <If you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. <Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as it tends to <detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. < <DATING (outside the family) <Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. <Be attentive. Let her know you're interested in her: "I've been wanting to <go <out with you since I read all that stuff on the wall of the mens' room at <the <Conoco station." <Establish with her parents what time she is expected to be home. Some will <say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If it is the latter, remember: it <is <the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. < <THEATER ETIQUETTE <Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after <the movie has ended. <Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they <can't hear you. < <WEDDINGS <Generally, livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift. <Kissing the bride for more than ten seconds may get you shot. <For the groom, at least, rent a tuxedo. A leisure suit, even with a <cummerbun <and a clean bowling shirt, will create a tacky appearance. <Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special <occasion. < <DRIVING ETIQUETTE <Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if when you have a deer <in sight. <When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always <has the right of way. <Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. <When sending your wife down the highway with a gas can because you've run <out <of gas, it is impolite to ask her to bring you back a six-pack of beer. <Do not burn rubber while traveling in a funeral procession. _________________________________________________________________ Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com
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