Kids

-----Original Message-----
From: Nanna928@aol.com [mailto:Nanna928@aol.com]
Sent: Saturday, February 02, 2002 12:27 PM
To: dma39@msn.com
Subject: (no subject)

CHILDREN

< To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our
own, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, or students.... here is
something
to make you chuckle.
<
< Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from
the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own
children.
<
< After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the
< first thing he said was, "Don't."
<
< "Don't what?" Adam replied.
< "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
< "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve.. . we have
< forbidden fruit!"
< "No way!"
< "Yes, way!"
< "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
< "Why?"
<
< "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why
He Hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants). A few minutes
< later, God saw His children having an apple break and was He ticked!
<
< "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent,
< asked?
< "Uh huh," Adam replied.
< "Then why did you?" asked the Father.
< "I don't know," said Eve.
< "She started it!" Adam said, "Did not!"
< "Did too!"
< "DID NOT!
< Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
< Eve should have children of their own.
< Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed!
< But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and
< lovingly tried to give children wisdom, and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what
makes
< you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension, and you get a
< headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:
< "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< CHILDREN You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to
walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and
< shut-up.
< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
< word what you shouldn't have said.
< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
< that there are children more awful than your own.
< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!
< ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
< Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home <<