Re: Fwd: Fw: Onward Christian Soldiers

Some I've seen, some not. These are sooo funny! It's amazing what a typo
can do to change the meanings!

Dan J Hyvl
03/29/2001 09:20 AM

To: Becky Spencer/HOU/ECT@ECT, Stacy E Dickson/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Onward Christian Soldiers

These are cute.
----- Forwarded by Dan J Hyvl/HOU/ECT on 03/29/2001 09:19 AM -----

Pat Radford
03/29/2001 09:10 AM

To: Dan J Hyvl/HOU/ECT@ECT, Kaye Ellis/HOU/ECT@ECT, Jenny
Helton/HOU/ECT@ect, Linda J Noske/HOU/ECT@ECT, aeanabors@aol.com
cc:
Subject: Fwd: Fw: Onward Christian Soldiers

< < | Actual announcements placed in church bulletins ....
< <
< < | Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8pm in the
< < | recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
< < |
< < | Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at
< < Calvary
< < | Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the
< < way
< < | from Africa.
< < |
< < | For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
< < nursery
< < | downstairs.
< < |
< < | Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
< < those
< < | things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
< < |
< < | The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
< < | conflict.
< < |
< < | Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies
< < are
< < | invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
< < |
< < | The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water". The sermon
< < tonight
< < | "Searching for Jesus."
< < |
< < | Barbara Jones remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
< < | transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes
< < of
< < | Pastor Jack's sermons.
< < |
< < | Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
< < someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much
< < about
< < you.
< < |
< < | Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
< < |
< < | A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
< < Music
< < | will follow.
< < |
< < | At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
< < hell?"
< < | Come early and listen to our choir practice.
< < |
< < | Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
< < several
< < | new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
< < |
< < | The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
< < sinning
< < | to join the choir.
< < |
< < | Pot luck supper Sunday at 5pm - prayer and medication to follow.
< < |
< < | The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
< < may be
< < | seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
< < |
< < | This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from
< < the
< < | church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
< < |
< < | The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
< < lend
< < | him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday
< < morning.
< < |
< < | Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use
< < the
< < | backdoor.
< < |
< < | Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church.
< < Please
< < | use the large double doors at the side entrances.
< < |
< < | Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
< < |
< < | The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
< < slogan
< < | last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".
< < |
<
<