FW: DAVE BARRY

---------------------- Forwarded by Vince J Kaminski/HOU/ECT on 07/19/2000
06:41 PM ---------------------------
From: Paula Corey@ENRON COMMUNICATIONS on 07/17/2000 08:13 AM
To: Richard Weeks/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Daniel
Despres/Enron Communications@Enron Communications, Walter Sonksen/Enron
Communications@Enron Communications, Vince J Kaminski/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:
Subject: FW: DAVE BARRY

Thoughts for the day ...

----- Forwarded by Paula Corey/Enron Communications on 07/17/00 08:16 AM -----

Ed.Sweeney@phh.com
07/17/00 07:56 AM

To: Paula Corey/Enron Communications@Enron Communications,
CIrons3308@aol.com, jsweeney@paperhub.com, lyn.ure@juno.com
cc:
Subject: FW: DAVE BARRY

Subject: THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN, by DAVE BARRY

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word
would be "meetings".
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.
And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories,
decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His
messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
No matter what happens ... somebody will find a way to take it too
seriously.
When trouble arises & things look bad, there is always individual who
perceives a solution & is willing to take command. Very often, that
person is crazy.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person.
Never lick a steak knife.
Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down
inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
You should never say anything to a woman that evenremotely suggests that
you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from
her at that moment.
Your friends love you anyway.

- att1.unk