FW: Why Parents Have Gray Hair

-----Original Message-----
From: Crenshaw, Shirley
Sent: Monday, January 07, 2002 10:20 AM
To: Dupont, Anita; Koepke, Gwyn; Irene Yoars (E-mail); Jenifer & John
McIntyre (E-mail); Kathy Crenshaw (E-mail); Kayla Crenshaw (E-mail);
Kelly Summers1 (E-mail); Moore, Kevin G.; Kip Crenshaw (E-mail); Lea
Melville (E-mail); Mujica, Mitra; Pam Marstrand (E-mail); Turner,
Rinetia; Sue Conkright (E-mail); Candella, Therese; Veronica Kubeczka
(E-mail); Kaminski, Vince J; Virginia & Harold Melville (E-mail)
Subject: Why Parents Have Gray Hair

Something to brighten your day - these are great!

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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's
home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispering, "Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the
boss asked, "Is your daddy home?"

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?" the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left at home
alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who
should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides
you?" the boss asked the child.

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked
"May I speak with the policeman"?

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.

"Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman." came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a
helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that
noise?"

"A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just
landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked,

"What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:
"Me."

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Never Ask Your Child a Question Too Many Times

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? Here is an
account from one woman:

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, who was clean. Then I realized that Matt had not
asked to go potty in a while, so I asked and he said "No".

I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I don't have
any clothes with me. Then I said, "Matt, are you sure you did not have an
accident?"

"No," he replied.

I just knew that he must have had, because the smell was getting worse. So
I asked one more time, "Matt, did you have an accident?"

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his
cheeks and yelled: "See, Mom, IT'S JUST BOTTOM BURPS!!' While 100 people
nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly pulled up his pants and
sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened. I, of course, was mortified

Some kind elderly people made me feel a lot better, when they came over and
thanked me for the best laugh they'd ever had.

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And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

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Fun in Church

[From James Dobson] One Sunday, a young boy was acting up during the
morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of
order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father swung the

little fellow up on his shoulder and walked sternly up the aisle
on his way out to deliver some thoroughly deserved discipline. As they
exited the church auditorium, the little one lifted his head and called to
the congregation, "Y'all pray for me!"

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A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way
to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

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The preacher moved briskly about the platform as he preached emphatically.

Because he was wired for sound with a lapel microphone, he jerked the mike
cord as he went. When he moved to one side, he got wound up in the cord
and nearly tripped before jerking free. After several circles and jerks, a
little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he
gets loose, will he hurt us?"

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Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together
in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big
sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men
standing by the door? They're hushers."

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After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm
going to give you some money."

"Well, thank you," the pastor replied. "But why?"

"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

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A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay
dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.

"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

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