FW: Quote for the day, #1,246.

-----Original Message-----
From: Lichtenwalter, Blair=20
Sent: Friday, March 08, 2002 8:22 AM
To: Lokey, Teb; Kilmer III, Robert
Subject: FW: Quote for the day, #1,246.

=20
-----Original Message-----
From: Kevin Dillon [mailto:kdillon@admin4.hsc.uth.tmc.edu]
Sent: Thursday, March 07, 2002 3:33 PM
To: LHammer@BR-Inc.com; Lichtenwalter, Blair; Phee@hal-pc.org; Cary M. Jone=
s; Irsan Tisnabudi; J. Redford; Steve Ball; Paul Cooper; Irina Belmont; Cat=
hy Wagner; Victoria S Briscoe; 'Jerry Fuller'; Edward R Fullerton; Juanita =
E Poole; Rives Taylor; Brian Yeoman; Rick Miller; Scott Merville; Brian Her=
od; Wesley Harrott; Maria E Hillman; Devin Longuet; Angela Hintzel; Loren S=
kinner; John Drew; Lou M.; Evans Attwell; pattesrm@bp.com; dredford@dogpc.c=
om; Sharron Devere; Eileen Smith; Hammer; Donald R Woods; Brad Stuebing; Ge=
orge Bandy; Cary DuPuy; dmlink1936@yahoo.com; BhamrahT@USA.REDCROSS.ORG; dh=
ick2@msn.com; Tommy L. Yates; Karla Stuebing; CeciNavarre@aol.com; Jillian =
Welch; Joel Rennie; Ward Brook; Russ Causey; John Kajander; Steve Shook; cu=
rryijc@BP.com; Mark Gregg; 'Carol Saxenian'; Joe Wolfe; Matthew; Pam Stewar=
t; John Dorroh; Chris Seger; John Curry at home; Jeff Gray; Usnick Kirk G.;=
Howard Law; Katherine Easterling; Dan O. Olivarez; John Koskoski; Bill Sea=
man; Ms. Baxter; Rony Kahan; Greg Ford; John Koskoski; Scott Baxter; Howard=
Law; Blair Lichtenwalter; Dave Lineman; Joanne Galvin; Agnes Chan; Jerry E=
llis; Charlie Hagedorn; Tad Mulder; Alan Parker; Alan Austin; T Lad & Krist=
in Webb; Adele T. Dillon 2; Tom Dillon; the links; David Link; Brother; Cin=
dy A. Dillon; Donna Ervin; T. Lad and Kristin Webb; Flaum Morris; Howard La=
w; Charlie Chaffin
Subject: Quote for the day, #1,246.

"The ground war in Afghanistan hotted up yesterday when the Allies revealed=
plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers int=
o the country to destroy the morale of Taleban zealots by proving the non-e=
xistence of God.
=20
Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets', will =
be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existe=
ntial anomie among the enemy. Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fou=
ght during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action w=
ill be to establish a number of pavement cafes at strategic points near the=
front lines. There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the ab=
surd nature of life and man's lonely isolation in the universe. They will b=
e accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will=
further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears =
every five minutes and looking remote and unattainable to everyone else.
=20
Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence=
in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intens=
e and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said,=
'The Taleban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous. There=
is no God and I can prove it. Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliet, I am=
talking.' Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nausea=
ting freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and t=
he films of Alfred Hitchcock.=20
=20
However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as =
inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the Frenchm=
en's endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.=
=20
=20
Speculation was mounting last night that Britain may also contribute to the=
effort by dropping Professor Stephen Hawking into Afghanistan to propagate=
his non-deistic theory of the creation of the universe.=20
=20
Other tactics to demonstrate the non-existence of God will include the drop=
ping of leaflets pointing out the fact that Michael Jackson has a new album=
out and Oprah Winfrey has not died yet.
=20
This is only one of several Psy-Ops operations mounted by the Allies to und=
ermine the unswerving religious fanaticism that fuels the Taleban's fightin=
g spirit. Pentagon sources have recently confirmed rumours that America has=
already sent in a 200-foot-tall robot Jesus, which roams the Taleban front=
lines glowing eerily and shooting flames out of its fingers while saying, =
'I am the way, the truth and the life, follow me or die.' However, plans to=
have the giant Christ kick the crap out of a slightly effeminate 80-foot M=
ohammed in central Kabul were discarded as insensitive to Muslim allies."
=20
Michael Kelly, British independent "blogger" (not the WaPo columnist / edit=
or of the Atlantic), "French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan To=
Convince Taleban of Non-Existence of God," <http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet=
.co.uk/exis.htm<, 3/7/02.