FW: Too bad stupidity isn't painful...

---------------------- Forwarded by Phillip M Love/HOU/ECT on 01/22/2001
03:59 PM ---------------------------

Bruce Mills@ENRON
01/22/2001 03:52 PM
To: Phillip M Love/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:
Subject: FW: Too bad stupidity isn't painful...

<
<
< < << HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE ?!?!?!?
< < << < < <<True story. I went to McDonald's. I looked at the menu
< < << < < <<and saw that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken
< < << < < <<McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets "We don't have a
< < << < < <<half-dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You
< <don't?"
< < <I
< < << < < <<replied.
< < << < < <<We only have six, nine or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't
< < << < < <<order a half dozen nuggets but I can order six?" "That's
right."
< <So
< < << < < <<I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
< < << < < << ========================================
< < << < < <<MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!!!!
< < << < < <<A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
< <drive
< < << < < <<and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she
< was
< < << < < <<doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they
asked
< < << < < <<for a credit card number, so she's using the ATM"thingy".
< < << < < << ========================================
< < << < < << I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
< < << < < <<her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I
knew
< I
< < << < < <<should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker.
< Now
< < << < < <<can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to
< < << < < <<not-to-distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit
< <this?"
< < << < < <<"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just
< < << < < <<this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys
< to
< < << < < <<me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
< < << < < <<replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
< < << < < <<batteries it's a long walk.
< < << < < << ========================================
< < << < < <<Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too
< < << < < <<swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and
< said,
< < << < < <<"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
< < << < < <<'Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told
< < << < < <<her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece
< of
< < << < < <<paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
< <"blank"
< < << < < <<copies.
< < << < < << ========================================
< < << < < <<I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
< < << < < <<motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle
< was
< < << < < <<in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked
like
< < <an
< < << < < <<extra in "Twister". I asked the manager what had happened. He
< told
< < << < < <<me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went
in
< < <the
< < << < < <<back to make a sandwich.
< < << < < << ========================================
< < << < < <<IDIOTS AT WORK...
< < << < < <<Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
< < << < < << ========================================
< < << < < <<IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
< < << < < <<My neighbor works in the operations department in the
< < << < < <<central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call
him
< < <when
< < << < < <<they have problems with their computers. One night he got a
call
< < << < < <<from a woman in one of the branch banks that had this
question:
< < << < < <<"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you
guys
< < << < < <<have a fire downtown?"
< < << < < << ========================================
< < << < < <<IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE
< < << < < <<I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher
< < << < < <<commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the
< year.
< < << < < <<My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping.
I
< < << < < <<explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the
< < <actual
< < << < < <<amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
< < << < < << ========================================
< < << < < <<Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect
< < << < < <<by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with
< < <wires
< < << < < <<to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in
< <the
< < << < < <<copier and police pressed the copy button each time they
thought
< < <the
< < << < < <<suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector"
< was
< < << < < <<working, the suspect confessed.
< _________________________________________________________________
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