FW: Debate

Pretty humorous.
PL

---------------------- Forwarded by Phillip M Love/HOU/ECT on 10/19/2000
10:45 AM ---------------------------

From: Jennifer Bagwell @ ENRON 10/19/2000 10:46 AM

To: Jackson Logan/HOU/ECT@ECT, Phillip M Love/HOU/ECT@ECT, Anne
Bike/Corp/Enron@Enron
cc:
Subject: FW: Debate

---------------------- Forwarded by Jennifer Bagwell/NA/Enron on 10/19/2000
10:43 AM ---------------------------

lovelace.mc@pg.com on 10/19/2000 06:43:03 AM
To: atlastgirl@aol.com, ann koonce <akoonce@fhi.org<, barnes.al@pg.com, brian
comer <bcc@nmrs.com<, cindy sells <cindy.sells@jcbradford.com<, earl lovelace
<elovelace@dorchester2.k12.sc.us<, goodman.lj@pg.com, jhull
<jhull@mciworld.com<, jeffers.me@pg.com, jennifer.bagwell@enron.com,
ksummersbean@yahoo.com, kristen.poploskie@appl.ge.com, pankratz.v@pg.com,
phillips.sl.2@pg.com, smith.mc.1@pg.com, merrill.la@pg.com
cc:

Subject: FW: Debate

---------------------- Forwarded by Marie Lovelace-MC/PGI on 10/19/2000 07:39
AM
---------------------------

Internet Mail Message
Received from host: smtp102.urscorp.com
[38.202.96.105]

From: Heather_Laughlin@URSCorp.com on 10/18/2000 03:31 PM

To: Sharon_Lauffer-Aho@URSCorp.com, Brook_Bertig@URSCorp.com,
amanda.black@URSCorp.com, DGBrent@aol.com, Debi@lexinvest.com,
Sokhan@aol.com, Marie Lovelace-MC/PGI, Tracy_Moore@URSCorp.com,
AprilMoschella@aol.com, Dawn@computrainsc.com, srobertson@BJGLAW.com,
lisa.shelton@jacobs.com
cc:
Subject: FW: Debate

Just try to read this without laughing! If you've watched any of the
debates, you'll love this - regardless of which loser you're voting for.

Heather Laughlin
Environmental Engineer
URS Corporation
2020 Ardmore Boulevard
Room 205
Pittsburgh, PA 15221
(412) 351-2044, ext. 213
(412) 351-2203 - fax

-----Original Message-----
From: Kristin Dougherty [mailto:KDougherty@collectamerica.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 18, 2000 1:17 PM
Subject: FW: Debate

Second Presidential Debate Transcript
<
<Jim Lehrer: Welcome to the second presidential debate between Vice
<President Al Gore and Gov. George W. Bush. The candidates have agreed on
<these rules:
<I will ask a question. The candidate will ignore the question and deliver
<rehearsed remarks designed to appeal to undecided women voters. The
opponent
<will then have one minute to respond by trying to frighten senior citizens

<into voting for him. When a speaker's time has expired, I will whimper
<softly while he continues to spew incomprehensible statistics for three
<more minutes.
<
<Let's start with the vice president. Mr. Gore, can you give us the name of
a
<downtrodden citizen and then tell us his or her story in a way that
<strains the bounds of common sense?
<Gore: As I was saying to Tipper last night after we tenderly made love
<the way we have so often during the 30 years of our rock-solid marriage,
the
<downtrodden have a clear choice in this election. My opponent wants to
<cut taxes for the richest 1 percent of Americans. I, on the other hand,
<want
<to put the richest 1 percent in an iron clad lockbox so they can't hurt
old
<people like Roberta Frampinhamper, who is here tonight. Mrs.
<Frampinhamper has been selling her internal organs, one by one, to pay for

<gas so that
<she can travel to these debates and personify problems for me. Also,
<herpoodle
<has arthritis.
<
<Lehrer: Gov. Bush, your rebuttal.
<
<Bush: Governors are on the front lines every day, hugging people, crying
<with them, relieving suffering anywhere a photo opportunity exists. I
<want to empower those crying people to make their own decisions, unlike my

<opponent, whose mother is not Barbara Bush.
<
<Lehrer: Let's turn to foreign affairs. Gov. Bush, if Slobodan Milosevic
<were to launch a bid to return to power in Yugoslavia, would you be able
to
<pronounce his name?
<
<Bush: The current administration had eight years to deal with that guy
<and didn't get it done. If I'm elected, the first thing I would do about
<that
<guy is have Dick Cheney confer with our allies. And then Dick would
<present me several options for dealing with that guy. And then Dick would
<tell me
<which one to choose. You know, as governor of Texas, I have to make tough
<foreign policy decisions every day about how we're going to deal with New
<Mexico.
<
<Lehrer: Mr. Gore, your rebuttal.
<
<Gore: Foreign policy is something I've always been keenly interested in.
<I served my country in Vietnam. I had an uncle who was a victim of poison
<gas in World War I. I myself lost a leg in the Franco-Prussian War. And
<when that war was over, I came home and tenderly made love to Tipper in a
<way
<that any undecided woman voter would find romantic. If I'm entrusted with
<the office of president, I pledge to deal knowledgeably with any threat,
<foreign or domestic, by putting it in an iron clad lockbox. Because the
<American people deserve a president who can comfort them with simple
<metaphors.
<
<Lehrer: Vice President Gore, how would you reform the Social Security
<system?
<
<Gore: It's a vital issue, Jim. That's why Joe Lieberman and I have
<proposed changing the laws of mathematics to allow us to give $50,000 to
<every
<senior citizen without having it cost the federal treasury a single penny
<until
<the year 2250. In addition, my budget commits $60 trillion over the next
10
<years to guarantee that all senior citizens can have drugs delivered free
<to their homes every Monday by a federal employee who will also help them
<with the child-proof cap.
<
<Lehrer: Gov. Bush?
<
<Bush: That's fuzzy math. I know, because as governor of Texas, I have to
<do math every day. I have to add up the numbers and decide whether I'm
going
<to fill potholes out on Rt. 36 east of Abilene or commit funds to reroof
the
<sheep barn at the Texas state fairgrounds.
<
<Lehrer: It's time for closing statements.
<
<Gore: I'm my own man. I may not be the most exciting politician, but I
<will fight for the working families of America, in addition to turning the

<White House into a lusty pit of marital love for Tipper and me.
<Bush: It's time to put aside the partisanship of the past by electing no
<onebut Republicans.
<
<Lehrer: Good night.