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Enron Mail |
This is accurate....Please take notes if you have to.
XO Jon -----Original Message----- From: Watt, Ryan Sent: Tuesday, August 21, 2001 9:36 AM To: Mike Treytiak (E-mail); Jay Bowman (E-mail); Clark, Chad; Bruce, Chad; Gary Cooper (E-mail); Sam Pel (E-mail); Lambie, Chris; Mckay, Jonathan; Cowan, Mike; Torres, Carlos; Powley, Barry; Cam Sherman (E-mail); Ray Shiu (E-mail); Renneberg, Mark Subject: Something for the boys? - part 2 TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH: 1.) Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down. 2.) ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit, not a colour. 3.) If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 4.) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 5.) Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 6.) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 7.) Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, or the shotgun formation. 8.) Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 9.) Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way. 10.) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 11.) You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. 12.) Crying is blackmail. 13.) Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! 14.) No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark Anniversaries on the calendar. 15.) Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes. 16.) Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 17.) Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 18.) Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. 19.) Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 20.) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 21.) Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway. 22.) Check your oil. 23.) It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. 24.) No, it doesn't matter which quiz. 25.) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. 26.) If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 27.) Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic. 28.) You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something, but not both. 29.) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 30.) If it itches, it will be scratched. 31.) Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 32.) If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. 33.) We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle. The information contained in or attached to this message is confidential and is solely for the use of the addressee. If you are not the intended recipient please notify us immediately by return email to postmaster@newton.co.uk and delete the message from your system. Internet communications are not secure.The Newton group and other subsidiaries of Mellon Europe Ltd accepts no liability for changes to this message after it was sent. Any views expressed by an individual in this email do not necessarily reflect the views of the group. If you have any questions regarding the contents of this email please contact Information_Security@newton.co.uk
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