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Enron Mail |
----- Forwarded by Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT on 03/28/2001 01:45 PM -----
Brian Hendon/ENRON@enronXgate 03/28/2001 12:39 PM To: Gerald Nemec/HOU/ECT@ECT cc: Subject: FW: Fw: Oil changes: Men vs. Women -----Original Message----- From: karmstrong6 [mailto:karmstrong6@hotmail.com] Sent: Wednesday, March 28, 2001 2:12 AM To: brian.hendon Subject: Fwd: Fw: Oil changes: Men vs. Women <From: "Kristy Carnes" <kcarnes@houston.rr.com< <To: <karmstrong6@hotmail.com< <Subject: Fw: Oil changes: Men vs. Women <Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 19:56:04 -0600 < < <----- Original Message ----- <From: Fnl1038@aol.com <To: Wildroseto@aol.com <Sent: Wednesday, March 21, 2001 5:34 PM <Subject: Fw: Oil changes: Men vs. Women < < < < < < < <Oil Changing Instructions for Women: < < < < < < < < < <1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the <last < < oil change. < < < < < < < < < <2) Drink a cup of coffee. < < < < < < < < < <3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly <maintained vehicle. < < < < < < < < < <Money spent: < < < < < < < < < <$20.00 for oil change $1.00 for coffee < < < < < < < < < <Total = $21.00 < < < < < < < < < < < < < < <Oil Change Instructions for Men: < < < < < < < < < <1) Go to O' Reillys auto parts and write a check for $50.00 for <oil, < < < <filter, kitty Litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree. < < < < < < < < < <2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking <it < < < <back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard. < < < < < < < < < <3) Open a beer and drink it. < < < < < < < < < <4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. < < < < < < < < < <5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. < < < < < < < < < <6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. < < < < < < < < < <7) Place drain pan under engine. < < < < < < < < < <8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench. < < < < < < < < < <9) Give up and use crescent wrench. < < < < < < < < < <10) Unscrew drain plug. < < < < < < < < < <11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in <process. < < < < < < < < < <12) Clean up mess. < < < < < < < < < <13) Have another beer while watching oil drain. < < < < < < < < < <14) Look for oil filter wrench. < < < < < < < < < <15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off. < < < < < < < < < <16) Beer. < < < < < < < < < <17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change < < < < <tomorrow. < < < < < < < < < <18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil outfrom underneath car. < < < < < < < < < <19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. < < < < < < < < < <20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday. < < < < < < < < < <21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer. < < < < < < < < < <22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil <to < < < <gasket surface. < < < < < < < < < <23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. < < < < < < < < < <24) Remember drain plug from step 11. < < < < < < < < < <25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. < < < < < < < < < <26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back <yard, < < < <along with drain plug. < < < < < < < < < <27) Drink beer. < < < < < < < < < <28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug. < < < < < < < < < <29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. < < < < < < < < < <30) Drink beer. < < < < < < < < < <31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on <frame. < < < < < < < < < <32) Bang head on floor boards in reaction to step 31. < < < < < < < < < <33) Begin cussing fit. < < < < < < < < < <34) Throw wrench. < < < < < < < < < <35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December < < < <(1992) in her overabundant chest. < < < < < < < < < <36) Beer. < < < < < < < < < <37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop <blood < < < <flow. < < < < < < < < < <38) Beer. < < < < < < < < < <39) Beer. < < < < < < < < < <40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. < < < < < < < < < <41) Beer. < < < < < < < < < <42) Lower car from jack stands. < < < < < < < < < <43) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands. < < < < < < < < < <44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled < < during step 23. < < < < < < < < < <45) Beer. < < < < < < < < < <46) Test drive car. < < < < < < < < < <47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. < < < < < < < < < <48) Car gets impounded. < < < < < < < < < <49) Make bail: Get car from impound yard. < < < < < < < < < <Money spent: < < < < < < < < < <$50.00 parts < < < < <$25.00 beer < < < < <$75.00 replacement set of jack stands < < < < <$1,000.00 Bail < < < < <$200.00 Impound and towing fee < < < < < < < < < <Total=$1350.00 < < < _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
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