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Enron Mail |
< Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil,"
< Libya, China and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis < of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that < stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his < State of the Union address. < < Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis < as having,for starters, a really dumb name. < < "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North < Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils, < best at being evil, we're the best." < < Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, < although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of < Evil. < < "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. < < "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi < President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In < World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. < So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked < cool." < < THE AXIS PANDEMIC < International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was < swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. < < Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate < status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, < and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing < Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally < Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of < Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable. < < With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs < filling up,Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be < called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly < Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia < formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But < Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, < and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed < to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick. < < "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said < Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. < < While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps < making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, < although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries < Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing < a false application. < < Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. < < < <
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