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<< < Lesson Number One
< ***************** < A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. < A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you < and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the < rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, < a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. < < Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, < you must be sitting very, very high up. < < Lesson Number Two < ***************** < A turkey was chatting with a bull. < < "I would love to be able to get to the top of that < tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. < < "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my < droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." < < The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that < it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first < branch of the tree. < < The next day, after eating some more dung, he < reached the second branch. < Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly < perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, < who < shot the turkey out of the tree. < < Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the < top, but it won't keep you there. < < Lesson Number Three < ******************* < When the body was first made, all the parts wanted < to be Boss. < The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's < responses and functions." < < The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and < get him to where he wants to go." < < The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work < and earn all the money." < < And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs < and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed < at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on < strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the < eyes < became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and < lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided < that < the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other < parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit! < < Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a < Boss - any asshole will do. < < Lesson Number Four < ****************** < A little bird was flying south for the winter. It < was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. < While < it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the < frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how < warm < it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and < happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird < singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered < the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate < him! < < Management Lessons: < < 1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is < your enemy. < 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is < your friend. < 3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your < mouth shut! <<
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