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Enron Mail |
-----Original Message----- From: "Kimzey, Bryan" <bryan.kimzey@csfb.com<@ENRON Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2001 1:50 PM To: Ben Rogers (E-mail) Subject: Understanding Enron Be sure to read the complete analysis ******************* Feudalism You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. ---------- Fascism You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk. ---------- Pure Communism You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you all share the milk. ---------- Applied Communism You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. ---------- Totalitarianism You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned. ---------- Pure Democracy You have two cows. You and your neighbors decide who gets the milk. ---------- Representative Democracy You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk. ---------- Mexican Democracy You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you into the army. ---------- European Democracy You have two cows. The EU commission decides which regulations for feeding and milking apply. If there aren't any, they invent some. They pay you not to milk the cows. They take both cows, shoot one, milk the other and pour the milk down the drain. They then require you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. ---------- American Democracy The government promises to give you two cows, if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "cowgate," but supports the president. The cows sue you for breach of contract. Your legal bills exceed your annual income. You settle out of court and declare bankruptcy. ---------- Capitalism You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. ---------- Enron Venture Capitalism You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. This message is for the named person's use only. It may contain confidential, proprietary or legally privileged information. No confidentiality or privilege is waived or lost by any mistransmission. If you receive this message in error, please immediately delete it and all copies of it from your system, destroy any hard copies of it and notify the sender. You must not, directly or indirectly, use, disclose, distribute, print, or copy any part of this message if you are not the intended recipient. CREDIT SUISSE GROUP and each of its subsidiaries each reserve the right to monitor all e-mail communications through its networks. Any views expressed in this message are those of the individual sender, except where the message states otherwise and the sender is authorised to state them to be the views of any such entity. Unless otherwise stated, any pricing information given in this message is indicative only, is subject to change and does not constitute an offer to deal at any price quoted. Any reference to the terms of executed transactions should be treated as preliminary only and subject to our formal written confirmation.
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