Re:

Eric,

I just want you to know what I feel now, whether or not it matters. Never
before have I felt more regret for anything I've done as I have about
breaking up with you, and then engaging in a relationship that has made you
not think highly of me anymore. I believe that the questions that you ask
me and the reaction that you have are all justified and fair and
reasonable. I wish I could take it all back or forget about it, but of
course that won't happen. I have no excuses. If I were you, I wouldn't
like me either.

One of the things that I really like about you is how well you know
yourself and how consistently your actions are in-line with your beliefs.
I have always had a problem with who I think I should be. This is one of
the problems I mentioned as needing to be resolved. I don't know how to
resolve this problem or whether or not it will ever be resolved, but am
aware that I have this problem. I guess periodically throughout my life so
far, when I think things aren't working, I will try to be a different
person. I don't know. I can't really explain it because I don't
understand it. I always try to be a good person, but as you said, how I
act is a reflection of who I am. In that light, what I've done to you,
undermining your trust in me, shows that I'm not a very good person. This
is what I regret most about this whole situation, the fact that I have lost
your trust.

Unfortunately, as I realize in hindsight, there are so many things about
you that I love, that I value so highly, that so many times over outweigh
the things about you that I would complain about before. Your trust,
patience, kindness, realism, strong sense of self, intelligence,
objectiveness, values, appreciation of me, care for things that were yours,
the care with which you would eat are all things that I miss so much and
hate myself for causing the loss of.

Anyway, thanks for being a forgiving enough person to still talk to me.

Jennifer