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good morning, evening or afternoon as the case may be! tribal elders, i
beseech you - cast down your buckets where you are and cease the drudgery in which you are surely engaged. lend me your eyes and thoughts for a spell and you shall be rewarded with first-hand accounts of asian adventure and two-fisted derring-do featuring He Who Bears the Sanders Banner in the land of rice eaters. heed the clarion call, o clansmen o" mine, as this note will attempt to be as joyous as it will triumphant. the mood just now is flat-out stellar, much akin to that often encountered as one turns back onto the hardtop with the smell of wet retriever and dead duck wafting about, cowboys pre-game on the radio and the promise of a stop at Charlie and George's on the way home to the ritual shit shower and shave before settling on down with Camille to watch the Boys wallop some hapless pretender so ridiculously that even Johnston starts getting carries. Lord, those were the salad days! (i can definitely sense Brother Steve waxing nostalgic now) i must relate what happened last week, as it continues to be a ginormous smile. left my backpack on a crowded subway one morn last week, which in and of itself caused no great consternation until i recalled that the 3 $80 George Clinton P-Funk tickets were inside along with the supposedly great Kafka book i had been reading. can you say ouch? believe y'all me, my utterings were of a more expletive type, and the next few days were filled with more Homer headslaps (doh!) and chinese communist-style written self- criticisms than i care to remember. but then it turned up at the Lost and Found with everything accounted for, and the staff even apologized for having thrown out the rice and veggie box lunch i had prepared. silly buggers even cleaned the tupperware! there are times when one truly has to hand it to the nipponese- that kind of thing is very much the standard and it is a wonder to behold. and George....as the funky man himself said, free your mind and your ass will follow! run, don't walk, to see the P-Funk. have been meaning to give y'all a holler for a while now but as Scarface would say i have had my head up my culo. mea culpa and apologies (especially to susan and doug, peerless purveyors of holiday cheer). would even submit to a spanking but only from the foxy sisters-in-law, provided they abstained from the type of buttock-missing belt-wielding corporal antics by which our Great She- Elephant used to brutalize our upper thighs and lower backs. all is well here and this boy's life has even gotten a wee saucy as of late due to the attentions of one Xiao Zhou, a chinese woman with whom i spend time on occasion. she has an X and a Zed in her name - how cool is that!? she can scrounge up some mean dumplings and dotes on me something fierce, both of which help with the rationalizations employed during the two hour train trips to Kyoto to see her. she does not know miss shoe, in case anyone wondered, but she has eaten chicken brain. the trip on down to Yakushima proved to be a much needed and wholly positive one in many ways. the island is as lovely as one would expect of a World Heritage Site, and i have never seen a rain forest give way to snowy mountains exceeding treeline. just bizarre juxtapositions to behold, like mossy rocks in a snowfield. and huge gnarled cedar trees that are older than the J man and even Buddha. four days of hiking up and over the main peak saw heaps of rain and snow every day, with bouts of sunshine mixed in, and y'all can imagine my shorts-wearing self did not dally too long at any point along the trail, which on the ridge was knee-deep in snow. just outstanding scenery and i had almost forgotten my conviction that hikers are probably the most generous, pleasant group of folks anywhere. but one must be wary of the nipponese when it comes to the traditional snack sharing, lest one be forced by protocol to choke down the smoked squid eggs and dried clams fried in seaweed foisted upon one as i was. probably the highlight of this trip was the pair of hot springs i visited after descending that cold ass mountain. the first of these consisted of three natural pools formed in the rock shore and only available when the tide goes out, most of the time being submerged. hit these on an exceptionally starry night and it was something else. the other was on kyushu and may not qualify as a hot spring as there was no water involved, only a sand bath. it was pretty freaky to get buried under a foot of hot sand by old ladies with shovels, but well worth it. i always used to make fun of the nipponese propensity to take holidays to hot spring resorts, but now i understand. they can really do you right. that was about it for the trip - seven days and eight ferry rides. oh yeah - went to Chiran, the staging base for most of the Okinawa campaign kamikazes, aka Floating Chrysanthemums. they have a museum chock full of last pictures and last letters home to families and loved ones. pretty powerful museum, that was. on a somewhat deeper note, have been thinking a lot about the old man lately. i know not how often he crosses your minds - mine not too often for obvious reasons. but what with asian travels and chinese sauciness, i feel like he would actually have taken a keen interest in some things i have been doing, you know? not just the sort of obligatory parental interest, but on a personal level. Lord knows none of us quite understood his fascination with this corner of the world. i used to think that he must have entertained a healthy appreciation for the wimmins over here - much like myself - but considering the buxom alpha female he married that does not hold much water. it is not so important now, of course, but there sure are some things i would like to have a chinwag with him about. all y'all too, for that matter, and it is coming in a matter of weeks. some details have yet to be reckoned but this much is known: april 16 to may 10 will see my return stateside. it may sound like a lot of time but it ain't, so let me run this by y'all. either the weekend of april 22 or 29 (saturdays) it would be a good and great thing to gather at the pedernales with just the familia. would be? strike that from the record - it will be! so make haste to clear your calendar and pencil that in. danna, do what you can. ricardo, if your job is truly so high-falutin' you should not have any trouble getting off. namuski, could we drive down friday morn? john of the taj mahal, i know you need notice and now you have it. dearest mama, if some horrid Angela Landsbury rerun is on you'll just have to miss it. stevo? am coming to see your ass in orlando! but i implore y'all - do not let something keep you away from the pedernales in april. it has been many a moon and i need to visit with y'all. y'all need to visit with each other. we all need to pay homage to the Great She-Elephant. take friday off and get there for an extra day, for Pete's sake. i will let you know which weekend shortly - probably the 29th but not positive yet, and figure y'all do not want to have easter there. it would seem as if a whole lot is happening with everyone. john is building the casa and keeping it together in spite of the odds, jean helen is going to drop come springtime, doug is going to begin estrogen injections, ricardo is going to continue to make something out of nothing and nothing out of something, and danna is going to get back to hallowed ground at long last. what a smile. what a big smile that is. best news i have heard since dad bought the pedernales. did y'all go down there rich doug and john? alrighty then - this has been monstrously long. okay - bye bye. hope all y'all have found the Noughties to be as fine a vintage as i have so far and may this belated new years note find you all faring well with mo' glide in yo' stride and mo' dip in yo' hip. my work is done. rolland ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
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