FW: Having a bad day?

This is great

---------------------- Forwarded by Tobin Carlson/HOU/ECT on 03/17/2000 10:05
AM ---------------------------

Enron North America Corp.

From: Kori Loibl 03/17/2000 09:57 AM

To: Stephanie Sever/HOU/ECT@ECT, Sheri Thomas/HOU/ECT@ECT, Darron C
Giron/HOU/ECT@ECT, Dutch Quigley/HOU/ECT@ECT, Errol
McLaughlin/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Scott Pleus/HOU/ECT@ECT, Tobin
Carlson/HOU/ECT@ECT, Don Baughman/HOU/ECT@ECT, Michael Nguyen/HOU/ECT@ECT,
Alicia Perkins/HOU/ECT@ECT, Crystal Hyde/HOU/ECT@ECT, Bruce
Mills/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Elizabeth Soto/HOU/ECT@ECT, Laura
Vargas/Corp/Enron@ENRON, Tony Harris/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:
Subject: FW: Having a bad day?

---------------------- Forwarded by Kori Loibl/HOU/ECT on 03/17/2000 09:55 AM
---------------------------

Purvi Patel
03/17/2000 08:20 AM
To: Kori Loibl/HOU/ECT@ECT, Otis Wathington/HOU/EES@EES
cc:
Subject: FW: Having a bad day?

this is funny

HAVING A BAD DAY?

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to
take it out on someone!!!? Don't take that bad day out on someone you know,
take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!

Now get this.? I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I
had
to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Patrick Hannifin, could I please speak to Robin
Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me!? I couldn't believe that anyone
could be that rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.? I had transposed the
last two digits incorrectly.

After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on
my desk.

I decided to call it again.

When the same person once more answered, I yelled? "You're a jackass!" and
hung up.

Next to his phone number I wrote the word? "jackass," and put it in my desk
drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd
call him up.

He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!". It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID.? This was a real
disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass.

Then one day I had an idea.? I dialed his number, then heard his
voice,"Hello."

I made up a name.? "Hi, this is Mike Smith with the sales office of the
telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our
caller ID program?"

He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down.? I quickly called him back and
said, "That's because you're a jackass!"

[Keep reading, it gets better.]

An old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking
place. I didn't think she was ever going to leave.

Finally, she got the car in reverse and she began to move ... very slowly
backing out of the slot.

I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.

Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.

All of a sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the parking aisle in the
wrong direction and pulls into her space.

I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was
here first!"

The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me.? He walked toward
the mall as if he didn't even hear me.

I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in
this world.

Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car.

I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk.? I had just gotten
off the phone after calling my jackass friend and yelling, "You're a
jackass!"? (It's
really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.)

I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk
and thought I'd better call this guy, too.

After a couple rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello."? I said,
"Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street.? It's a yellow house and the car's
parked right out front."

I said, "What's your name?"

"My name is Don Hansen."

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home in the evenings."

"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"Don, you're a jackass!"? And I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer.

For a while things, seemed to be going better for me.

Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call.

Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them,
it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.

I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:

First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1.

A man answered nicely saying,"Hello."

I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.

The jackass said, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah."

He said, "Stop calling me."

I said, "No."

He said, "What's your name, Pal?"

I said, "Don Hansen."

He said "Where do you live?"

"1802 West 34th Street.? It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked
out
front."

"I'm coming over right now, Don.? You'd better start saying your prayers."

"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.

Then I called Jackass #2.? He answered, "Hello."

I said, "Hello, Jackass!"

He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?"

"I'll kick your butt."

"Well, here's your chance.? I'm coming over right now, Jackass!"

And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police.

I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my
gay lover as soon as he got home.

Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th
Street.

After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the
whole thing.

Glorious!? Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in
front
of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and channel 13 news cameras!!!

It was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

Names changed to protect the guilty.

O.K. Now stop laughing and crying, people are going to think you are a nut;
especially the people on the other side of your wall.