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Enron Mail |
bitter, bitter, bitter. this country is FULL of sour grapes! our washers
and dryers kick, plus- have these people ever heard of ice or REAL movie popcorn??? no, seriously.....?! e <From: "Holly Paxman" <hpaxman@towerrecords.com< <To: "Tom Paulsen" <tjpaulsen@yahoo.co.uk<, "Sharon Kurnett" <<skurnett@pt-ent.com<, "John Paxman" <johnpaxman@aol.com<, "emily" <<ehillegeist@hotmail.com<, "Alan Soch" <asoch@cemiusa.net<, <"Niki Finerty" <NFinerty@NatsourceTullettEurope.com<, "Marci Arena" <<marciuk@hotmail.com<, "Michael Handler" <mhandler@cantor.co.uk<, <<lbutler@towerrecords.com<, "Stephanie Kika" <<stephanie.kika@bmge.com< <Subject: Revocation Of Independence <Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2000 10:15:44 -0000 < <To the citizens of the United States of America, < <In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to <govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your <independence, effective today. < <Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties <over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which <she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP <for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a <world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without <the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. <A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of <you noticed. < <To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following <rules are introduced with immediate effect: < <1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then <look up "aluminium" . Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at <just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise <your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same <twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you <know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up <"interspersed" . < <2. There is no such thing as "US English" . We will let Microsoft know on <your behalf. < <3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It <really isn't that hard. < <4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the <good guys. < <5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen, <but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get <confused and give up half way through. < <6. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of <football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. <The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders <may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no <longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. <Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult <game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby <(which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a <rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). <We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. < <7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if <they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is <a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The <Russians have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for "shit". < <8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new <national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day. < <9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your <own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. < <10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. < <Thank you for your cooperation. < <<BR<This e-mail may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If <you <<BR<are not the intended recipient (or have received this e-mail in error) <please <<BR<notify the sender immediately and destroy this e-mail. Any unauthorised <<BR<copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this e-mail is <<BR<strictly forbidden. <<BR< <<BR<</XMP<</FONT<<FONT COLOR="#0f0f0f" SIZE=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" <FACE="Arial" LANG="0"< <<BR< <<BR< <<BR<</FONT<<PRE< <</PRE< < < <</HTML< _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. Share information about yourself, create your own public profile at http://profiles.msn.com.
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