Some good ones

---------------------- Forwarded by Susan M Scott/HOU/ECT on 04/14/2000 03:20
PM ---------------------------

Kenneth D'Silva
04/14/2000 02:59 PM
To: Susan M Scott/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:
Subject: Some good ones

These are pretty good too...
---------------------- Forwarded by Kenneth D'Silva/HOU/ECT on 04/22/2000
02:58 PM ---------------------------

"D'Souza, Deepak J" <d'souzdj@bp.com< on 04/11/2000 04:03:07 PM
To: "'kdsilva@enron.com'" <kdsilva@enron.com<, "'nazareth@rice.edu'"
<nazareth@rice.edu<, "'deshazer@rice.edu'" <deshazer@rice.edu<,
"'aylmerrebello@hotmail.com'" <aylmerrebello@hotmail.com<,
"'rodribra@yahoo.com'" <rodribra@yahoo.com<
cc:
Subject: Some good ones

< This guy went to the zoo one day. While he was standing in
< front of the gorilla's enclosure, the wind gusted and he got
< some grit in his eye.
<
< As he pulled his eyelid down to dislodge the particle, the
< gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy
< senseless.
<
< When the guy came to, the zookeeper was anxiously bending over
< him, and as soon as he was able to talk, he explained what had
< happened.
<
< The zookeeper nodded and explained that in 'gorilla language',
< pulling down your eyelid means "Fuck you".
<
< This didn't make the gorilla's victim feel any better and he
< vowed revenge.
<
< The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two
< party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his
< pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage,
< into which he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn.
<
< Knowing that the big apes were natural mimics, he put on a
< party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and
< put it on.
<
< Next he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked
< up his horn and did the same.
<
< Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of
< his pants, and sliced it neatly in two.
<
< The gorilla looked at the knife in his cage, looked down at
< his own penis, and he...
<
<
< scroll down
<
<
<
<
< ...pulled down his eyelid.
<
<
< *****************************************************************
< More of those Rejected Hallmark Cards:
<
< 1. Looking back over the years that weve been together, I can't help but
< wonder: What the !@#$ was I thinking?
<
< 2. Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.
<
< 3. How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?
<
< 4. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After
< having
< met you, I've changed my mind.
<
< 5. I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell
< 'til I met you.
<
< 6. As the days go by, everyday I think of how lucky I am that you're not
< here to ruin it for me.
<
< 7. If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister.
<
< 8. As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like
< the need for therapy...
<
< 9. Thanks for being a part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before
< this!
<
< 10. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to
< take
< this knife out of my back? Youll probably need it again.
<
< 11. Someday I hope to get married, but not to you.
<
< 12. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!
<
< 13. When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that
< we've
< broken up, I think its time you kept your promise.
<
< 14. I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend.
< So here's his leash, water bowl and chews.
<
< 15. We have been friends for a very long time, what do you say we call it
< quits?!
<
< 16. I'm so miserable without you, its almost like you're here.
<
< 17. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who
< the
< father was?
<
< 18. You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there
< was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
<
< 19. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday,
< so
< we're having you put to sleep.
<
< 20. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!! ......(available only in Tenn.)
<