FW: 12th Friday State of the Union

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From: =09Landry, Chad =20
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Subject:=0912th Friday State of the Union

Well its been a very long time. A lot has transpired since my last ever-po=
pular Friday State of the Union. As usual my friends and I have been up to=
no good and, fortunately for you, I am ready and willing to tell you all a=
bout it. There are so many people and things to talk about and only one Sta=
te of the Union to cover it all. This could be a very rough ride so, as al=
ways, Brace Yourself!!!

Multiple choice question: Which one of the these airport names does not be=
long? A) Reagan International Airport B) Bush Intercontinental Airport C) =
JFK Airport D) Louis Armstrong National Airport. Well in case you are stum=
ped, here is a little hint: think "Satchmo." Chris Coulon (my political in=
sider) told me that the city of New Orleans had narrowed it down to two cho=
ices: Edwin Edwards National Airport or Louis Armstrong National Airport. =
Well it was a close race but considering Edwin Edwards was convicted last y=
ear of numerous counts of bribery and extortion; the City of New Orleans de=
cided on Louis Armstrong. So now every time you fly into "Satchmo" make su=
re you high-five a friend as you pass that beautiful picture of Chris Owens=
and her 60-year old breasts because you are now in New Orleans, a place wh=
ere absolutely nothing gets taken serious.

Speaking of New Orleans, has anyone read the book Confederacy of Dunces? N=
ow that he lives in the French Quarter, Granola Centola truly personifies t=
he book's main character, Ignatius Reilly. Just last weekend, while walkin=
g back to his apartment from Cat's Meow, Larry felt the need to relieve him=
self next to a neighbor's car(what a way to build neighborhood friendships!=
). While in "mid-stream," Larry got picked up by a policeman and dragged o=
ff to the Orleans Parish Prison (OPP) for indecent exposure and public drun=
kenness. When I asked Larry what it was like to spend the night in the "Bl=
ack Bar Hotel" his response was, "It wasn't that bad I talked politics the =
whole night with my cell-mates," and he added, "the best thing was that the=
y (cell-mates) were all Democrats. Can you believe it?" Yes, Larry, we ca=
n believe that all your cell-mates were Democrats.=20

Well if you haven't already heard Shawn (The Wop) has moved back into Beau =
Chene College Apartments. This move has made Shawn a target for jokes amon=
gst most of our friends. Thankfully, Shawn takes these comments with a gra=
in of salt and even recently commented to me that "I (Shawn) love living in=
Beau Chene, especially since I have been included in Jeff Jordan's (Landlo=
rd's) Monday Night Football parties." Shawn says there is only two require=
ments to get into this party: 1) you must be a guy and 2) you must B.Y.O.C =
(Bring Your Own Cold Cuts). Shawn says that no one seems to like his ham o=
r turkey and that for some reason there tends to be an enormous amount of S=
alami at these parties. Shawn says it never fails, whenever Jeff introduce=
s him as an old FIJI to someone at the party, the first question is always=
"Do you know Nick Nesbit and the Turner Twins?" and the second question is=
"Do you like Salami?" Word to the wise, Shawn, you might want to rethink =
the meaning of the "C" part in B.Y.O.C.

While most of Houston wants the 2012 Summer Olympics in Houston so they can=
watch the events, the girl I went on a date with a few weeks ago wants it =
to come here so she can compete in the Track and Field Events. Now I am no=
t insecure about my manliness, nor do I consider myself out of shape, but a=
fter having dinner with the "she hulk" I felt pretty damn wimpy. Thankfull=
y, I had my good buddy Lenhart to pick me up from my deep depression. We w=
ent out the following Thursday night to Houston's Latest Hot Spot, TACO MIL=
AGRO. Since Matt had a very bad case of Laryngitis, we worked as a team; =
I talked to all of the girls and Matt just stood there and smiled. Oddly e=
nough, we got a ton of girls' phone numbers. Matt couldn't understand it a=
nd even boasted about it the next day, "I (Matt) was on fire last night. I=
didn't even say one word the whole night and for some reason I got more ph=
one numbers than ever before!" Overhearing our conversation, Tim (Paw-Paw)=
Blanchard chimed in, "It is not a coincidence, dude."

Speaking of Paw-Paw, next Friday Night is Tim's Bachelor Party in Baton Rou=
ge. As most of you already know, Tim does not have a spontaneous bone in h=
is body, so he took the liberty of e-mailing us his itinerary (See Below!) =
for next Friday night's "Festivities."=20

1) 7:37 PM - Kiss Louise goodbye.
2) 8:43 PM - Drink 2.32 beers with everyone at the Sheraton Hotel in Downto=
wn Baton Rouge.
3)10:26 PM - Drink 3.7 beers at the Gold Club and tell Landry how I (Tim) a=
m not like Lenhart "I (Tim) don't like to get drunk and pick up chicks whil=
e hanging out at the Club." (Note: In case you guys forgot Tim used to be a=
real partier. That's how he got the name Paw-Paw...)
4)11:47 PM - Watch Larry pass out at Fred's while dancing to Blind Melon as=
he proceeds to get into fight with the bouncer.
5)12:56 AM - Do one shot with friends and throw the other two shots on th=
e ground when no one else is looking. (Note: I've actually busted Tim usin=
g this tactic on several occasions)
6) 1:50 AM - Request "Son of a Preacher Man" at Fred's and look for the cl=
osest Phi-Mu to slow dance with to the song.
7) 2:39 AM - Bail-out a half drunk Granola Centola from Jail and when he w=
alks out say, "Larry, what the f-ck!?!"
8) 3:27 AM - Kiss Louise good night and dream about the Tigers kicking the =
hell out of Auburn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone have a Good Weekend!

GEAUX TIGERS!

CKL

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