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Enron Mail |
Date: 6/20/01 7:41 AM RE: Fwd: Fw: Warning - alcohol Alcohol warnings.... < < Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers < have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be < placed immediately on all beer containers: < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the < hell happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several < people?!) < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are < whispering when you are not. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a < retard. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends < over and over again that you love them. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that < ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the < morning. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically < converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical < Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the < morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you < can't remember). < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable < rug burns on the forehead. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you < are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are < invisible. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are < laughing WITH you. < < WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the < time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time < may seem to literally disappear. <<
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