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Return-Path: <JamesHall@acli.com<
Received: from rly-ye02.mx.aol.com (rly-ye02.mail.aol.com [172.18.151.199]) by air-ye03.mx.aol.com (v74.17) with ESMTP; Tue, 20 Jun 2000 22:48:57 -0400 Received: from mail.acli.com (mail.acli.com [38.250.210.11]) by rly-ye02.mx.aol.com (v74.17) with ESMTP; Tue, 20 Jun 2000 22:48:09 -0400 Received: from ACLI-Message_Server by mail.acli.com with Novell_GroupWise; Tue, 20 Jun 2000 20:08:40 -0400 Message-Id: <s94fcf48.071@mail.acli.com< X-Mailer: Novell GroupWise 5.5.2 Date: Tue, 20 Jun 2000 20:07:45 -0400 From: "James Hall" <JamesHall@acli.com< To: "Beth Byrne" <BethByrne@acli.com<, "Bill Schreiner" <BillSchreiner@acli.com<, "Bruce Ferguson" <BruceFerguson@acli.com<, "Bryan Cox" <BryanCox@acli.com<, "Dana Kelley" <DanaKelley@acli.com<, "Michael Bartholomew" <MichaelBartholomew@acli.com<, "Robert Sweeney" <RobertSweeney@acli.com<, "Stanton Cole" <StantonCole@acli.com<, "Victoria Fimea" <VictoriaFimea@acli.com<, <Alienenvoy@aol.com<, <Ejzim@aol.com<, <JLPRUITT@bakerd.com<, <ljacobso@calpoly.edu<, <KHedine@cell-1.com<, <swbeach@erols.com<, <tmilar@jcpenney.com<, <marilyn.hall@juno.com<, <craig.anderson@securitybenefit.com<, <flyingw@southwind.net<, <jsheldon@southwind.net<, <bjreed@worldnet.att.net<, <john.booth@worldnet.att.net< Subject: Fwd: Fw: Dave Barry Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary="=_9EC6FA98.3B5A227C" All right, my friends, here are words to live by. For you men, #14 is particularly important. For everyone, #19 is the bottom line. Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Return-Path: <cass@snowcrest.net< Received: from rly-yc02.mx.aol.com (rly-yc02.mail.aol.com [172.18.149.34]) by air-yc04.mail.aol.com (v74.17) with ESMTP; Tue, 20 Jun 2000 17:55:35 -0400 Received: from mail.snowcrest.net (mail.snowcrest.net [209.232.213.212]) by rly-yc02.mx.aol.com (v74.17) with ESMTP; Tue, 20 Jun 2000 17:55:18 -0400 Received: from newmicronpc (stkfrD067.snowcrest.net [209.78.175.67]) by mail.snowcrest.net (8.9.3/8.9.3) with SMTP id OAA04932; Tue, 20 Jun 2000 14:55:13 -0700 (PDT) Message-ID: <002b01bfdb01$58153ba0$43af4ed1@newmicronpc< Reply-To: "I & C Cassorla" <cass@snowcrest.net< From: "I & C Cassorla" <cass@snowcrest.net< To: "Skip Johnson" <sjohnson3@kc.rr.com< Cc: "Martha Johnson" <AntyM@AOL.com<, "Dick Johnson" <DJ2422@AOL.com<, "Guy Johnson" <jmr.johnson@gateway.net< Subject: Fw: Dave Barry Date: Tue, 20 Jun 2000 14:48:55 -0700 Organization: Micron Electronics, Inc, X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.00.2314.1300 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.00.2314.1300 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Disposition: inline < < < < < 19 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN by DAVE BERRY < < < < 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on < < the same night. < < < < 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has < < not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would < < be "meetings". < < < < 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." < < < < 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never < < want you to share yours with them. < < < < 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, < < decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His < < messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. < < < < 6. You should not confuse your career with your life. < < < < 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too < < seriously. < < < < 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one < < individual < < who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that < < individual is crazy. < < < < 9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. < < < < 10. Never lick a steak knife. < < < < 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. < < < < 12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. < < < < 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling < < reason why we observe daylight savings time. < < < < 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests < < that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging < < from her at that moment. < < < < 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to < < make < < a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11. < < < < 16. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, < < gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep < < down < < inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. < < < < 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy < < people who are not in them. < < < < 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice < < person. < < < < 19. Your friends love you, anyway. < < < < <
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