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Enron Mail |
----- Original Message ----- From: "Houda, Cathy" <chouda@nmh.org< To: <crogell@aol.com<; <tti@rcnchicago.com< Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2001 2:00 PM Subject: FW: : Fw: How to Dump........ < < HOW TO DUMP A MAN < < < < Dear ________, < < I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated < < from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are < < probably aware, the competition was exceedingly < < < << << <tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as < < < << << <yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, < < < << << <however, keep your name on file should an opening < < < << << <become available. So that you may find better < < < << << <success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow < < < << << <me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified < < < << << <from the competition. < < < < Check those that apply... < < < < ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't < < imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my < < children to it. < < < < ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not < < something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit < < of passion < < < << << < ___The fact that our dining experiences to date has < < < << << <left MY wallet a little lighter, and YOUR pants a < < < << << <little tighter! < < < << << < < < < << << < ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms < < < << << <by the truckload" indicates that you may be < < < << << <interested in me for something other than my < < < << << <personality. < < < << << < < < < << << < ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked < < < << << <you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me < < < << << <more than one about myself. < < < << << < < < < << << < ___Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO < < < << << <much time on your hands! < < < < < << << < ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. < < < < < << << < ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would < < < << << <inevitably be beaten up repeatedly! at recess. < < < < < << << < ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck < < < << << <condition from trying to kiss you. < < < << << < < < < << << < ___I find your inability to fix my car < < < << << <extraordinarily unappealing. < < < < < << << < ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned < < < << << <reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is < < < << << <unbreakable. < < < < ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too < < often in conversation. < < ___You still live with your parents. < < < < ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your < < wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting. < < < < ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend < < lead me to suspect that you are some sort of < < psychotic stalker. < < < < ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait < < that I am seeking in a long-term partner. < < < < ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. < < If you should however, happen to gain the necessary < < 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your application. < < < < ___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your < < overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip. < < < < ___I am out of your league, set your sights lowernext time. < < < < Sincerely, < < ______________________ < < < < Now, you must forward this to 4 FEMALES or you will < < have a HORRIBLE streak of bad love life. Not that I < < believe the above, mind you. I just think you < < should forward this to 4 women so they can laugh too. < < < < < < _________________________________________________________________ < < Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp <
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