|
|
Enron Mail |
The G R A P E V I N E
October 20, 2001 Here are some items or notes that we thought you would find amusing, interesting or informative. Feel free to pass this newsletter along to others. Enjoy! PLEASE NOTE THAT WE MAINTAIN OUR E-MAIL LIST IN HOUSE... WE THINK THAT WE HAVE YOUR PERMISSION TO SEND THIS, BUT IF YOU ARE RECEIVING THIS WITHOUT CONSENT, PLEASE FORGIVE US!! Published by: < John Sweney < Brookwoods Group < extraordinary people delivering < marketing and marketing communications solutions < www.brookwoods.com =< NEWS AND NOTES: The world of marketing... =< INTERESTING INTERNET: Links we like... =< SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: News of Brookwoods Group... =< FRACTURED FEEDBACK: Comments from our readers... =< GRATUITOUS HUMOROUS: Good clean fun... =< LISTING TO ONE SIDE: The top ten whatever... =< GRAPEVINE HOUSEKEEPING: Contacts, subscribe, etc... ========================================================= =< NEWS AND NOTES THE NEW WORLD OF COMMUNICATIONS The world really did change on September 11. Think of it: Try to remember something you did during the first week of September -- a party, a movie, a dinner out. Doesn't that seem like a lifetime ago? At a recent seminar I gave to a group of young members of the International Association of Business Communicators, I was asked, "How has communications changed since September 11?" I think that there are two important shifts: 1) All communications now must be relevant. The era of cranking out meaningless press releases on top of fluffy brochures followed by disjointed ads is past. I have been as guilty as the next person. But here on out, irrelevant blather is not going to be tolerated by target audiences. The example I use is the ubiquitous "new senior vice president" press release. In the past, journalists (and the public) could dismiss these without a second thought. Today, the recipient is just as likely to wonder, "Why is this company bothering to waste precious resources on this?" (If the press release describes a newsworthy shift in the marketplace, and articulates how this new senior VP address that shift in a way that benefits the company's customers, then that is a step in the right direction.) 2) Communications that are sensitive to "balance" are more likely to resonate. Even if a communication is relevant, if it has an underlying message that some gadget or feature is incredibly important, it will fall on deaf ears. What's important today? Balance in life. Family. Friends. Even dogs <grin<! For example, if you can demonstrate that your product or service can give your customer more time to spend on precious moments with their family, you are better off than if you highlight the 24x7 availability that allows people to work all the time... EVALUATING CONSULTANTS Brookwoods Group is a member of the Technology Entrepreneurs Exchange (www.texchange.org), and I attended the meeting last week as a panel of experts discussed the critical success factors for building a successful business. Bill Nash, president of Holland & Davis management consultants (www.hdinc.com) was one of the panelists, and I scribbled some notes from his talk, including a paraphrase of his four tough questions that should be asked of any consulting firm you are considering: 1) Have you ever been fired by a client, and if so, why? 2) Have you ever turned down a client opportunity, and if so, why? 3) For your client's sake, have you ever removed yourself from a project, and if so, why? 4) For your own sake, have you ever fired a client, and if so, why? ========================================================= =< INTERESTING INTERNET This month marks the 75th anniversary of Winnie-the-Pooh. I think it may have been George Carlin who asked, "What is a Pooh?" For those of us with a taste for unusual trivia, the name Winnie-the-Pooh was given by a real boy, Christopher Robin, to his stuffed teddy bear that had been previously called Edward Bear. Five-year-old Christopher didn't really like the name, so his father, A.J. Milne, encouraged him to make up a new name. The boy immediately came up with "Winnie-the-Pooh," a combination of the name of a friendly bear he had met at the London Zoo named Winnie (after the city of Winnipeg) and the name of a familiar swan at Kensington Gardens. See the entire story at: www.pooh-corner.com/pooh.html The original Pooh, Tigger, Piglet, Kanga and Eeyore are now in a glass cabinet in the Donnell Center of the New York Public Library. (Roo was lost in an apple orchard in the 1930s.) See: www.nypl.org/branch/kids/pooh/winnie.html Speaking of children, someone sent me a little Dr-Seuss- like tale written to help explain the September 11 attacks to children. It resonated in my own child-like mind as well and is reproduced on our website at: www.brookwoods.com/binch.htm Speaking of Dr. Seuss, many people don't realize that Dr. Seuss for two years (1941-1943) was the chief editorial cartoonist for the New York newspaper "PM," and for that journal he drew over 400 editorial cartoons. See these serious political cartoons drawn in the familiar style during the early years of World War II at: orpheus.ucsd.edu/speccoll/dspolitic/Frame.htm ========================================================= =< SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION We are pleased to report continuous positive feedback from clients on all fronts. We posted some of the best comments on our Client page on the Brookwoods Group website at: www.brookwoods.com/clients.htm I will be a panelist for the "Effective HighTech Marketing/PR Best Practices Panel" at the November 10 TiE-Houston Conference, "Rediscovering & Accelerating the Entrepreneurial Spirit." See www.tie-houston.org for details. Since my last Grapevine, we have brought on several great marketing and communications professionals, including consultant Nancy Burch and VP of Operations Lorry Harju. Lorry is working hard to refine our operations model and demonstrate added value to new and existing clients. We ran a couple new print ads this summer, all of which use dogs to illustrate the predicaments of clients who could use help from Brookwoods Group. One ad shows a dog balancing teacups on his nose (www.brookwoods.com/ad4.htm) and the other shows a dog trying to make-do with an ill-fitting solution (www.brookwoods.com/ad5.htm). Frankly, some people think the latter ad is a little spooky. Check it out and judge for yourself! As always, CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE at www.brookwoods.com! ========================================================= =< FRACTURED FEEDBACK Comments from our readers... Many readers noted that the HTML formatting did not really work on their mail readers. Others received the formatting, but the graphics were not embedded where they belonged. All in all, I think I'll stick with plain text for now! If I want to show graphics, I'll use an html link! Several people took us up on our offer to run a CarFax report for them. Gail Schutz commented on my bemoaning that my old car was always in the shop, noting, "I have also heard it said that the two best days in a boat owner's life are the first day and the last day." She may be right. My car has been in the shop since May (yes... May!). Kim Padgett noted that we use a woman on the phone in the bathtub as the icon for our Grapevine and "Buzz" sections of the website. (www.brookwoods.com/buzz.htm). She offered to "try to find one with a man taking a bath on a cell phone for the next issue!!" I never got a picture from her, but I did find a picture of a naked man talking on a headset. Does that count? See www.brookwoods.com/other/890829-001.jpg Hank Moore thinks we do a very good job and produce "one of the best e-newsletters that I've seen." Thanks, Hank! Tom Lammers, Denise Boyd, and several others wrote that the test to know whether you are ready to be a parent left them laughing out loud. If you missed it, see www.brookwoods.com/grape/20010713.htm Let us know what you think of this newsletter or the lunatic opinions expressed herein. Write to: party@brookwoods.com ========================================================= =< GRATUITOUS HUMOROUS With all my problems over my old car in the shop, this seems like a good story to tell: A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Bentley, when he spotted a world - famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car. The mechanic yelled across he garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?" The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the Bentley. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine, I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix 'em, put in new parts and when I finish, this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the motor running." ---- This story illustrates the importance of providing clear instructions, not subject to interpretation: A couple of Kentucky hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead." ...There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?" ========================================================= =< LISTING TO ONE SIDE Here is a list of words that really should exist in the English language, but for some reason, they are not in the dictionary. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) -- adj. Being able to drive and read a road map at the same time. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) -- adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) -- n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye (or ear). BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) -- n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals. BUZZACKS (buz' aks) -- n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) -- n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. DIMP (dimp) -- n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?" DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') -- v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs. ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) -- n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) -- n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) -- n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) -- n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive. FRUST (frust) -- n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) -- n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) -- n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') -- n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) -- adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) -- n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. PUPKUS (pup' kus) -- n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) -- n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away. ========================================================= =< GRAPEVINE HOUSEKEEPING We depend on word-of-mouth to spread the word about this newsletter. If you enjoy reading the GRAPEVINE, please forward it to a friend or colleague. To subscribe, unsubscribe or change your e-mail address, anyone can send a message to grapevine@brookwoods.com. To view previous issues of the GRAPEVINE newsletter, go to: http://www.brookwoods.com/grapes.htm Brookwoods Group Inc. is a marketing communications staffing and consulting company. Whether a Brookwoods Group associate or an affiliated colleague, every member of the group is dedicated to meeting the marketing communications and communications staffing needs of our clients. We are known for our competence, our integrity, our good humor and our professional attitudes. Visit our website at: www.brookwoods.com < Brookwoods Group < DELIVERY/OFFICES: < 13100 Northwest Freeway < Suite 400 < Houston TX 77040-6001 < PHONE: < 713-934-0532 Office < 713-934-0589 Office Fax < Comments to: grapevine@brookwoods.com
|