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Enron Mail |
-----Original Message----- From: christopher whitenton <cwhitenton@yahoo.com< To: Lamar White <lamar@viccomm.com<; Russell White <russellt@cottonrestorationinc.com<; Allison D. Wiatrek <adwiatrek@cmsenergy.com<; skylar acock <rsacock@aol.com<; bruno <THEHERBEN@YAHOO.COM<; Christopher <crisjen@zianet.com<; jason fortin <jason1812@cs.com<; kenny haefner <CHAOSHAEFNER@webtv.net<; Gordon Liddy <potent357@aol.com<; rex mayes <rexmayes@tisd.net<; MoFo <carlione69@cs.com<; gary nellis <ni8train@aol.com<; orlando <lomi84@aol.com< Date: Friday, February 01, 2002 8:33 PM Subject: Economics clearly explained < < <Economics clearly explained? < <DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. <You feel guilty <for being successful. You vote people into office who <put a tax on your <cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay <the tax. The people you <voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give <it to your <neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings <for you. < <SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one <and gives it to <your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how <to manage his cow. < <REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. <So? < <COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes <both and provides you <with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is <expensive and <sour. < <CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You <sell one, buy a bull, <and build a herd of cows. < <DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The <government taxes you to <the point you have to sell both to support a man in a <foreign country who <has only one cow, which was a gift from your <government. < <BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The <government takes them <both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the <milk, then pours the <milk down the drain. < <AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, <lease it back to <yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 <cows to produce the <milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow <drops dead. You spin an <announcement to the analysts stating you have <downsized and are reducing <expenses. Your stock goes up. < <FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on <strike because you want <three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good. < <JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign <them so they are <one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce <twenty times the <milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded <trains. Most are at <the top of their class at cow school. < <GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer <them so they are all <blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality <milk, and run a <hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand <13 weeks of <vacation per year. < <ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't <know where they are. <While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You <break for <lunch. Life is good. < <RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them <and learn you have <five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them <again and learn you <have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have <12 cows. You stop <counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You <produce your 10th, <5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up <and takes over however <many cows you really have. < <TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in <Afghanistan, which is two. <You don't milk them because you cannot touch any <creature's private <parts. < <POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are <regularly maimed and <killed attempting to milk them. < <FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown <cow. Everyone votes <for the best looking one. Some of the people who like <the brown one best <vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. <Some people vote for <neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at <all. <Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you <which is the best <looking one. < <NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. <You have to choose <which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick <some fat cow from <Arkansas < < <__________________________________________________ <Do You Yahoo!? <Great stuff seeking new owners in Yahoo! Auctions! <http://auctions.yahoo.com <
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