(no subject)

Beer Warning Labels
<
<
<Due to increasing product liability litigation, American beer brewers
<have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be
<placed immediately on all beer containers:
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
<whispering when you are not.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
<asshole.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
<boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR
<HEAD IN !!!
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like
<thish.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
<ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
<morning.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
<hell happened to your pants.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
<converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
<Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
<morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you
<can't remember).
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
<rug burns on the forehead.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
<tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy
<named FRANZ.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
<invisible.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
<laughing WITH you.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
<time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time
<may seem to literally disappear.
<
<WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
Bob Bane
Washington Court House