FW:

< Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business
< Sign?
<
< 1) MARKETING
< You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid
< having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
< socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now.
< Least compatible with Sales.
<
< 2) SALES
< Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree."
< You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and
< begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers
< so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for
< your golf game throughout your life.
<
< 3) TECHNOLOGY
< Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead
< content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace.
< Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can
< tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
<
< 4) ENGINEERING
< One of only two signs that actually studied in school. It is said that
< engineers place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can be happy
< with yourself; your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic"
< gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel
< syndrome."
<
< 5) ACCOUNTING
< The only other sign that studied in school. You are mostly immune from
< office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization;
< combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors
< concerning you say that you are completely insane.
<
< 6) HUMAN RESOURCES
< Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to
< be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other
< person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any
< calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch AND then mail
< a letter.
<
< 7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT
< Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain
< at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single
< decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you
< can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers"
< as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle Manager."
<
< 8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT
< (See above - Same sign, different title)
<
< 9) CUSTOMER SERVICE
< Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your
< own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little
< cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play
< "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best
< bet is to sleep with your manager.
<
< 10) CONSULTANT
< Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms to avoid revealing your
< utter lack of experience. You have convinced yourself that your "skills"
< are in demand and that you could get a higher paying job with any other
< organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity contemplating
< these career opportunities without ever taking direct action.
<
< 11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER"
< As a "person" that profits from the success of others, most people who
< actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on commission and
< susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart attacks
< correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock market.
<
< 12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO
< You are brilliant or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems
< such as the fax machine suggest the latter.
<
< 13) GOVERNMENT WORKER
< Paid to take days off. Government workers are genius inventors, like the
< invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from deep depression or
< anxiety and usually commit serious crimes while on the job...Thus the
< term "GO POSTAL"
<
<
<